


Let's Chat Over Coffee

by skzthusiasttt



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Coffee Shop Trope, Dance Major Lee Minho | Lee Know, Fanmeets, Han - Freeform, Idol Fic, Idol Han Jisung | Han, Im back lol, Jisung uses an alias to avoid recognition, Lee Minho | Lee Know-centric, M/M, Minho really looks up to Jisung, OT8, Oblivious Lee Minho | Lee Know, Slow Burn, Strangers to Lovers, Student Lee Minho | Lee Know, Twins Hwang Hyunjin & Hwang Yeji, Yes I am pushing my Hwang twins agenda, another minsung fic, changlix, everyone is there kinda, i also forgot to mention this before -- lowkey demi Minho, is there but they're not the center of attention, it'll get hot at some point, like painfully oblivious, like this is really slow, might throw in some mild smut, minho works at a coffee shop, minor cussing, minsung - Freeform, minsung are soulmates, more tags to come with future chapters, please do not repost my work, skz - Freeform, with warning of course
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:07:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 26,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28417335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skzthusiasttt/pseuds/skzthusiasttt
Summary: .Q: What could spice up Minho's boring student life?A: Han, his favorite idol..Minho is a college student who earns extra money by working at a coffee shop. He admires his idol Han from afar, but unexpectedly gets caught in a twist of events that could end in devastation or paradise. Or maybe, something in between.
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Lee Felix/Seo Changbin
Comments: 51
Kudos: 112





	1. It All Begins With Coffee

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I'm back!  
> I've been developing this idea for quite a while now and really enjoyed experimenting with it. This fic turned out to be longer than anticipated and so it's going to be a slowburn. Expect at least 20k plus words by the end!  
> I do not write explicit scenes mostly, but if there is anything that counts as a tw, I will list it at the beginning of each chapter.  
> I would like to restate this. This fanfic is purely a work of fiction. I do not support forced shipping. Keep shipping separate from real life, everyone. Let's support Stray Kids as much as we can and leave the fanfics in places like ao3. :)  
> And with that, I hope you enjoy this!

Uni was not going how Minho had anticipated.   
It wasn’t that his classes sucked or he didn’t have enough friends; it was more like he wasn’t feeling fulfilled on the inside. Staring around blankly during his shift at the coffee shop across from the University, he wondered what it would be like to have someone to care about, too.   
Don’t get him wrong; Minho was an attractive guy, and he knew it. But he’d never fallen in love before. He’d never even had a crush.   
Minho was a hopeless romantic and he knew he wanted to find someone, so he guessed that he hadn’t lived long enough. That was when he was sixteen.   
Now, at age twenty, Minho was worried. All of his close friends had or at least had had a boyfriend or a girlfriend at some point, but he hadn’t so much as batted an eye at the countless dating offers that had come his way ever since he’d moved into this town in middle school. His heart was a door with a lock, and no one had the key yet.   
Case in point: look at his close friends. Hyunjin was a talented dancer, known throughout the department, and considered second only to Minho, even though he was two years his junior. And Hyunjin had a huge social life; he was invited to almost every freshie party out there, and even the seniors tried to play their cards and invite Hyunjin to their parties. Oh, and he had a boyfriend, a cute guy who was a senior at the high school fifteen minutes away. It was literally the perfect life, in Minho’s eyes.  
Felix was also experienced at dating and had someone who he regularly made heart eyes at, and it was some producer at an entertainment company. Felix, however, had refused to spill any other details about the mysterious person.   
Minho quickly looked around. It was late; everyone who was here for the night had most likely already ordered whatever they had wanted and now stared at their laptops, either typing frantically to finish a report or relaxing and watching Netflix. The place was silent save for the typical coffee shop music playing from the speakers and the brewers behind Minho.   
Perfect. It was 10:58 PM, and he had to be at this event at 11 o’clock sharp. He’d grown pretty bored of staring at cheesecake for his entire shift. He pulled his earbuds out of his pocket, plugged them in, and opened an application. He clicked on the face of a particular idol, one whose face looked almost squirrelish, and sat back in his chair to watch the broadcast.   
Thirty seconds later, a video image appeared on Minho’s phone screen and he couldn’t help but lean forward a little. He eyed the number of people watching this live broadcast in the top left corner, and his eyes bulged a little. One million. That was the most viewers he’d ever seen on this particular channel.   
The boy on the screen started speaking.   
“Hey everyone, it’s Han! I hope you’re all comfy in your house. I’m glad we can have a conversation tonight before we all turn in.” A pause. “Oh my god!” Han frantically pointed at the numbers in the top left corner of the screen. “Do you guys see that? Dang, I’ve never gotten this many live viewers, like, ever! You guys are the best,” he mused, an affectionate look in his eyes as he talked about his fans.   
Minho sighed, smiling. Han, the stage name for the solo idol Han Jisung. Minho had been his fan for a while, ever since he’d laid eyes on his squirrel face and listened to his lightning-fast rap and melodious singing. Han was an all-in-one package of looks, talent, and personality. He even wrote and produced his own music, with a little help from the producers in his entertainment company. He’d only been active for a year but had managed to amass such a large fanbase that people assumed he had been around for much longer than that. And the best part? There was literally no limit to his fanbase. When Minho watched fan cams pan to the audience for a little bit or replays of fan meets, he always saw people of different genders and different ages peppering the crowd, each face as excited to see Han as the last. Little kids were waving lightsticks while clinging to their mothers and fathers, who were screaming themselves silly. It was a beautiful thing that Han did; he united everyone.   
Minho had been desperate to go to a concert or a fan meet ever since Han had debuted, but for some reason, his University schedule would never grant him enough time to do anything except watch Han’s live streams. That, and he _was_ a broke college student. And even the live streams had to be when he had nothing left to do for the day and the coffee shop was empty.   
Han started talking about how his day had been and reminded his fans to stay tuned for his next comeback, which would be released in a month. Everything he said was so full of color and emotion that Minho couldn’t help but become choked up simply at hearing his empathetic voice. It was like Han was a family Minho had never gotten the chance to experience.   
Minho knew that anything past platonic feelings for Han wasn’t right because he was an idol who had the right to his privacy. However, he couldn’t help but wish that his future partner had at least some of Han’s qualities. No wonder he’d made it big so quickly; his entertainment company had known exactly what they were doing.  
After the live stream ended, an ad popped up on Minho’s phone screen.   
“Interested in attending your idol’s fan meet event? Enter your name in this raffle and YOU may have your dream come true!”   
Minho scoffed, knowing that most of the time, these things were a ploy. But recently, one of his friends actually _had_ won a meeting with a girl group, Blackpink. It had been the best day of his life according to him.   
Minho reasoned that he had nothing to lose, and inputted his name into the box. After selecting “Han” as the choice for the fan meeting, Minho submitted the form and locked his phone.   
He glanced around the shop and noticed that most of the people here had left now that it was close to midnight. Minho’s shift ended exactly at midnight, and his coworker Yeji would be taking over for the early AM shift.   
Tomorrow, he would wake up at 7:30 and start his day at the dance studio. Hopefully, he, Hyunjin, and Felix could decide on a number for their student showcase coming up soon. It was worth 20% of their grade, and Minho really wanted an A.   
-  
“Hyunjin.”  
No response.   
“Hyunjin,” Minho called, a little more insistently this time.   
No response again.   
“Hey, Hyunjin-ah!”   
“Agh! God, Minho hyung, why do you have to scare me like that?” Hyunjin said dramatically, clutching his heart for effect. “Yeji gives me heart attacks like that every day anyway. Don’t crawl onto that list.”  
“It’s your fault you’re too busy daydreaming to listen to what I have to say.”  
“Alright, hyung, first of all, I wasn’t daydreaming. I was...just making plans. In my head.”  
Minho smirked. “Daydreamer”  
“Hey! Ok, whatever. Daydreamer. You wound me though, hyung. Oh yeah, what was it that you wanted.?”  
Minho rolled his eyes. “Have you decided on your favorite number from our choreography bucket so far? I need yours and Felix’s input before I can submit our proposition to Prof.”  
Hyunjin blinked twice. “Uhhh…maybe the first one?”  
“You literally said the first one was garbage yesterday.”  
“Then the second one,” Hyunjin countered in a defiant tone.  
The thoughts running through Minho’s mind were not pleasant. ‘Be the dance captain,’ they said. ‘It’ll be fun,’ they said.   
Felix suddenly came bursting into the studio with a dance bag in one hand and..was that a box of brownies? In the other. He smiled wide and Minho and Hyunjin jokingly fell to the ground, apparently blinded by the sunshine.   
“Felix, the least you could do is give us a warning. Your face is so bright it might as well be the goddamn sun, and the sound of you barging in like that gave me a heart attack,” Minho said, sitting upright once again. Hyunjin was still laid out dramatically on the floor.  
“Sorry,” Felix said sheepishly. “I got late because...well...I had to stop by to see someone.”  
“And we all know that someone is your mysterious boyfriend. Cut the bullshit already, Lix, you know you can tell us anything,” Minho sighed, Hyunjin nodding his assent after him.   
“Fine. It’s only been a month so I wanted to hold off on telling you guys just to make sure it was a serious thing instead of a fling, but at this point, I’m convinced that I’ll be with this guy for a while. He’s...incredible,” Felix breathed, stars in his eyes.  
Hyunjin and Minho leaned forward eagerly.   
Felix took a deep breath. “Alright. His name is Seo Changbin, and he’s a producer at Quokka Entertainment.”  
Minho screamed silently in his mind while Hyunjin screamed out loud. “Lix, you’ve got to be KIDDING me!” Hyunjin wiped a fake tear from his eye. “The place is called Quokka entertainment? Is it run by animals?”  
Minho, meanwhile, was reeling. It just so happened that a certain idol called Han also was under the label Quokka Entertainment.  
“Felix...does Changbin have a stage name? Or should I say, a producer name?” Minho was both excited and nervous to hear the answer.  
Felix scrunched up his nose in thought. “Yeah, it’s SpearB. Apparently, he’s one of the main producers; he does a lot of the beats for the idols underneath Quokka.”  
‘No way,’ Minho thought. SpearB’s name was almost always written under the production credits for Han’s songs. Minho had always wondered if the two were close. But now he had an unprecedented link to the idol; his best friend was literally boyfriends with one of Han’s closest producers. It wasn’t the most direct, but it still made him feel closer as if he was part of some little circle.  
It shouldn’t matter anyway. Idols had a right to their privacy, and Minho wouldn’t be trying anything soon. But it was insane to think about how much closer this made their worlds.   
“Minho? You okay there?” Felix’s deep voice shook Minho out of his thoughts and he was forced to give him a smile. If Felix realized that Han was under Quokka Entertainment as well, he wouldn’t let Minho go about it. He knew how much of a fanboy the older one was.   
“Yeah, I'm good, dude. That’s pretty cool, you have a successful boy!”  
“Yep.” Felix beamed. “He’s such a nice guy, I want to introduce you guys someday.”  
“Oh, please do!” Hyunjin mused. “I need some kind of excitement in my life now.”  
Minho rolled his eyes and gave out a small chuckle. He wouldn’t trade his friends for the world.   
-  
Minho was having another boring day at the coffee shop, but at this point, was he even surprised? There was no way that he could get out of this job; he loved the people here too much and he needed the money. But his nights alone at the coffee shop were the absolute worst anyway. To make it worse, there was no live stream from Han tonight, so Minho would just be idling away on Instagram or Youtube, finding small snippets of entertainment to occupy himself.   
That’s probably why Minho didn’t even look up when the door of the coffee shop burst open. Minho had his ears plugged; no one came around at this hour anyway.  
It wasn’t until the customer literally waved his hands in front of Minho’s face with a gruff “excuse me” that Minho started and quickly shoved his phone and earbuds into his apron pocket.  
“I’m so sorry sir,” Minho said, quickly activating the cash register and taking a look at the person standing before him. He was almost as tall as Minho, but he had a red cap and a big blue mask obscuring everything on his face except his eyes.  
“It’s quite alright,” the stranger said in an unnatural tone. Minho’s curiosity was piqued. He tilted his head and looked at the stranger, but he must’ve been staring too long because the stranger slightly coughed.  
“I have a chronic illness. Reason for this,” the guy gestured vaguely to his pretty concealing outfit. Other than the colors, of course.  
“Oh, I didn’t mean to be rude,” Minho said, suddenly realizing how horrible his customer service was going today. Luckily, this customer didn’t seem fazed. “So..what will it be?”  
“One tall caffè mocha, please. Oh, you also sell cheesecakes, correct?”  
“That’s right,” Minho said. He slightly smiled, remembering a face that really enjoyed cheesecakes as well. He really, really wanted to buy one for himself, but his sugar intake was already so high.  
“Can I have one of those?” The customer pointed at a pretty large and heavily decorated one.   
“Certainly. Anything else?”  
“Nope, that’ll be all.” The customer’s voice slipped a little then, going into a lighter tone than it initially was before. He didn’t _sound_ super sick, in Minho’s opinion, but it could be that the illness didn’t affect the throat.  
The stranger seemed to have realized his mistake because his eyes went wide and he closely inspected Minho’s face.   
Minho was already tired; he didn’t have the energy to notice all of this. Han’s live streams usually gave him energy, and the fact that there wasn’t one tonight basically meant that Minho’s motivation and adrenaline were down the drain.   
The stranger nodded to himself, satisfied when he didn’t see an expression worthy of note on Minho’s face, and he proceeded to pull out his credit card for the transaction.  
“Oh, I’m sorry. What’s your name, sir?”  
The customer seemed to freeze for a good few seconds before answering in a hurried tone. “S-sungji”.


	2. It's A Small World

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I'm posting the second chapter the same day I published the first one. Yes, I might post the third one as well ;)   
> Also, we love dramatic Hyunjin.  
> Please enjoy!

The boy’s name was Sungji. Minho typed the letters into his keyboard.  
Minho flashed him a smile. ‘Thanks, sir. Your order will be ready in a few.” Sungji grunted and nodded, his eyes downcast.  
Minho turned around and set to making the coffee and packing up the cheesecake for the customer. _He has really pretty eyes,_ Minho thought to himself. He suddenly shook his head in surprise at his own thoughts. _I must be going crazy._  
Minho quickly finalized the order and walked to the designated area for giving orders to customers. He realized he didn’t even need to call for the customer because the latter was already watching him. Feeling the smallest amount of blood rush to his cheeks, Minho nodded at the customer and the latter came over.   
“Thank you, sir,” Sungji said. He looked at the nametag on Minho’s shirt. “Thank you, _Minho_.”  
Minho smiled at the sound of his name. “No problem.” He handed over the coffee and, after staring longingly at the cheesecake for a good ten seconds, handed that over as well. Sungji, of course, noticed.   
“Minho. Or Minho hyung, since you’re probably older than me. Do you want a bite?”   
Minho’s eyes widened and he quickly shook his head. “No, not at all. I was just…”  
“You were just what?” Sungji looked at Minho with wide eyes, the only visible part of his body. For some reason, they seemed strangely familiar and comforting to Minho.   
“I...I was just looking at the cheesecake. I haven’t had some in a while, I guess. But really, it’s ok; I’m on a diet. I shouldn’t have more.” Minho cursed at himself for blabbing so much in front of this stranger.   
If Sungji was insistent before, now he was outright demanding. “I am not leaving this place without you having a bite of my cheesecake. Seriously, imagine working a night shift. I could never. Come on, please. There’s no way I’m gonna eat this entire thing anyway.” He struggled to maintain his gruff tone throughout the exchange, and Minho resisted raising an eyebrow. It was kind of cute.  
“Alright, alright. There aren’t too many customers anyways. You’ve been like the first person who’s ever showed up for an order at this hour.”  
Sungji’s eyes seemed to turn into crescents. Minho knew he was probably smiling underneath the mask. He wished he could see it.   
Minho came around the counter and Sungji led him to a table in the corner of the store. As they both sat down, Sungji put his Cheesecake on the table and opened it. He handed the fork and knife that had come with it to Minho. Minho hesitantly cut into the cake and took a piece on his fork. He lifted the cake to his mouth, and his mouth exploded with flavor. It was so good he was going to cry.  
“Mmpf! Thank you so much, Sungji. Honestly, this is the best thing I’ve ever had, and it’s even better that someone gave it to me. But...you don’t want to have any of this?”  
Sungji’s eyes flew wide. “I-uh, I’m still sick, remember?” He coughed softly a couple of times, moving his head to the side for effect. “I don’t want you to catch anything.”  
Minho had his suspicions, but he nodded anyway. It was Sungji’s choice.   
Minho had Sungji talked for almost another hour over the cheesecake, completely losing track of time. Minho learned that Sungji had an older brother, while Minho himself was an only child. Sungji was apparently a music lover, but he was still trying to get his shit together. He was enrolled in an online college. Minho was a dance major (who was also lowkey trying to get his shit together).   
Minho noticed that Jisung was skirting over some details in his life, so he didn’t learn as much about this mysterious person as he learned about Minho.   
After that, they mostly talked about current events and their likes and dislikes. Minho started talking about K-Pop, and Sungji happily listened, throwing in some artists that he had liked over the years too. But then Minho said something that made Sungji freeze.   
“There’s this singer called Han who I really adore, you know him? He’s such a good performer and such an all-rounded person, but I really look forward to his live streams. They’ve helped me unwind and calm down so much when I have nothing to do at this coffee shop,” Minho said, shaking his head and laughing. “I really want to meet him someday and tell him how thankful I am and how much he’s influenced my life. Maybe at a fan meet?”  
Sungji was frozen throughout Minho’s spiel about Han. When Minho turned his eyes back to the person in front of him, his smile fell and his eyes grew worried.   
“Sungji, you good? Did I say something wrong, or am I boring you? Oh shoot, I’ve held you here for so long anyway! I’m so sorry,” Minho voiced frantically, running his hands through his hair.   
“No, Minho hyung. I know you’re my hyung now,” Sungji said in an attempt at humor. Minho didn’t smile, but he was able to calm down a little. “It’s just...I had no idea you felt so strongly about an idol, a person who’s so far away from you and who you don’t even know. I’m sure Han would be so honored to hear your words.”  
Minho sighed in relief and leaned back. “I wish I could tell him how amazing he is for positively impacting so many people in the world. I’ve read the comments underneath his videos, and some of them even say that he’s saved them from suicide. It’s incredible.”  
Sungji’s breath hitched a little, and he waved a hand at Minho’s concerns, assuring him that he was fine. He was smiling underneath his mask, but a black cloud of doubt still nagged him. He pushed it away.   
“Minho hyung,” Sungji tentatively asked.   
“Honestly, just Minho is fine. The two of us could honestly have been the same age,” Minho reassured Sungji.  
Sungji let out an amused breath. “Minho, then. I have a couple of Han’s albums lying around... They’re signed, too. Would you want any of them? They’re all brand new.”  
Minho’s eyes bulged out of his head and he internally squealed. Han’s albums, and for free? This stranger must be crazy. Minho knew he should be wary of this proposal, but he trusted Sungji for some reason. His gut told him he was a good guy.  
“Are you kidding, Ji?” The nickname easily rolled off of Minho’s tongue before he could stop himself. “Are you actually insane, though? So many people out there would kill to get their hands on a signed album. Well, I actually wouldn’t,” Minho clarified. He didn’t want to be looped in with all the sasaengs and crazy fans. “But all the same, it would be a dream come true.”  
“Then it’s settled! What time do you get off your shift next Tuesday?”  
“Twelve.”  
“Alright, I’ll make sure to be here before then. Which one did you want? Close or I Got It?” Both of those were the names and title tracks of the albums that Han had released so far.   
“Honestly, either one of them is fine, Sungji.” Minho was telling the truth; he loved both of the albums equally. One of them had comfortable and lovely vibes, and the other was hard and empowering, aimed at haters.   
“Alright, Minho! Sounds great.” Sungji’s voice squeaked in a very cute way then, and Minho squinted hard at the former’s face. He’d had a sense of familiarity this entire time, and it felt like he was this close to putting his finger on it…  
“Alright!” Sungji said, noticing the way Minho was looking at him and standing up suddenly. The chair being pushed back created a noise that echoed throughout the coffee shop. A few customers looked up from their laptops and back down again.   
“I-I should go now,” Sungji said, readopting his gruff tone. “See you.”  
Before Minho could open his mouth and ask him to wait, Sungji had already slipped out the door into the streets of the late night.  
 _Where have I seen him before…_  
-  
The next week, of course, took ages to go by. Minho sat idle in almost every one of his classes, still thinking back to the day Sungji had decided to show up in the coffee shop. Minho wasn’t a hopeless romantic, but he was pretty dang close. He couldn’t shake the feeling that this meeting was meant to happen, that he knew Sungji from somewhere beforehand and fate had made it so the two of them would meet again.   
Then again, the only part of Sungji that was visible to Minho were his eyes anyway. How could he make assumptions just based on that? But they had seemed so familiar…  
Minho’s daydreaming was interrupted by a textbook being dropped onto his desk. He startled, mumbling some less-than-decent words.   
“And Mr. Lee, since you’ve been paying so much attention to my lesson, why don’t you answer question number three?” Minho dragged his eyes up to the whiteboard in front of him and squinted at the question.   
“He’s toast,” he heard a boy named Vernon whisper behind him.   
Minho only smirked and started working out the problem in his notebook. Thirty seconds later, he announced the answer to the class. “The answer is 8/9x + 18.” Minho slept during class, but luckily, his brain was a sponge. He savored the shocked expression on his teacher’s face and leaned back to give his signature smile to Vernon, who had an equally bewildered expression.  
The bell rang then, and Minho dashed out so quickly that he almost tripped over the desk in front of the door getting to it. He was heading straight to his dorm to take a nice, long nap.  
-  
Tuesday was finally here, and for the first time in forever, Minho jumped out of bed without complaint. He quickly brushed his teeth and combed his hair before slipping out the door with his backpack. Today, he only had two-morning classes, and the rest of the day was virtually free. 

Minho’s energy had only dampened slightly by lunchtime, mostly caused by his English teacher assigning his class a huge portfolio project that would take ages and probably more than one all-nighter to complete. The event at the end of the day kept him going.   
The afternoon did get boring eventually, so Minho found his feet taking him on the familiar route to the dance studio. Inside, he saw Felix practicing his solo for his evaluation in a couple of days. Against the back wall, there was a stranger who Minho had never seen before. His build looked short but muscular, and he was clad in classic black converse, skinny jeans, a black t-shirt, and an equally dark beanie. His arms were crossed over his chest, his eyes intently watching Felix.  
Minho raised a brow. He knew almost everyone who frequented the studio, from Hyunjin’s parents to the distant cousins of one of their dance professors, Mr. Jung Hoseok. The fact that Minho didn’t know who this person was was odd in itself, but from the way the short man’s eyes followed Felix’s form around the room, it wasn’t extremely hard to guess who he probably was.   
Only one way to find out. Minho strode up to the man and held out his hand. “Hi, I don’t think we’ve met before. Lee Minho, one of Felix’s dance friends.”  
The man’s eyes focused on Minho and widened in recognition. “Oh, you’re Minho, the famous dancer around here! And around this entire city, to be really honest. I’m Changbin. Felix’s...well you already know I’m assuming,” Changbin said with a nervous giggle.   
“He does indeed!” Minho turned around to see Felix sauntering over to join them in the back of the room. “Oh look, I didn’t even have to introduce you too! That’s so surprising.”  
“You definitely don’t, Felix,” Minho sighed. He turned back to Changbin. “You’re a producer at Quokka entertainment, aren’t you?”  
“Yep!” Changbin beamed. “I make a lot of tracks for this up and coming idol, Han. Heard of the guy?”  
Felix smiled. “As a matter of fact, he d-” Minho slapped Felix on his back out of Changbin’s sight. Felix yelped the tiniest bit, but Minho had already started talking.   
“I...don’t. Han, right? He must be pretty new in the industry...I don’t follow a lot of acts anyway,” Minho rambled, trying to get the topic of the conversation off of Han.   
Changbin didn’t seem to notice Minho’s strange behaviors, and if he did, he didn’t comment. “Oh, I see. Well, he’s a talented young man, that I can say with confidence. One of my co-producers, Chris, and I have been talking, and we think he can dominate not only the Korean market but the global market in the future as well. He’s something special.”  
“Oh,” Minho said lamely, pasting an artificial smile to his face. “That sounds fantastic! I wish you guys all the best.”  
“Thanks, Minho! Or Minho hyung, I guess,” Changbin added sheepishly.   
“Just Minho is absolutely fine, don’t even worry about it.”  
Felix looked back and forth between the two of them and smiled. He had been nervous, but all that had evaporated as soon as Minho and Changbin had started talking to each other.   
The door suddenly burst open, and this time, it was Felix’s turn to jump with Minho. “Hey, guys, what’s up?” Hyunjin flicked his hair like a diva after barging into the room, and Minho rolled his eyes and punched him lightly, but hard enough to cause Hyunjin to yelp.   
Hyunjin’s eyes settled on the third person of the room. “OH MY GOD, YOU’RE FELIX’S BOYFRIEND AREN’T YOU?” His voice was loud enough to reach every ear in a three-mile radius. Changbin awkwardly nodded and smiled, while Felix’s expression told Hyunjin that he was planning his death. Just another normal day at the dance studio.


	3. You Actually Came

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I am pushing my Hwang twins agenda. What about it? :-)  
> Enjoy the chapter!

Changbin ended up having to leave around 7:30 because of a recording session for Han at 8. (“But don’t tell anyone guys, or else I’ll have the managers up my ass. It’s a miracle that those crazy sasaengs haven't uncovered Jisung’s full schedule yet, but they’re close enough already.”) Minho, Felix, and Hyunjin had assured him that their lips were sealed, and after a quick kiss on the cheek to Felix, Changbin exited the studio. Hyunjin, for the sake of being dramatic, gagged in the corner.  
Before Minho could even take a breath, Felix turned on him and crossed his arms. “Why did you react like that when he asked if you knew Han? He’s just an idol. And we _do_ know him, we’ve danced covers to some of his songs remember? He has a nice voice.”  
Minho gulped; he had to think quickly. He hadn’t told anyone he was literally a huge fanboy for Han, and if Felix, whose _boyfriend_ literally worked with Han every day, found out, he would be living in a literal hell.  
“I-uh, I kinda forgot that we danced to his covers, I guess. Must’ve slipped my mind, what with everything that’s going on these days with classes and all. Yeah.”  
Felix raised a brow. “You were literally the most hyped up person when we decided to do his songs. You were the one who literally _advocated_ for choosing his song. If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were a fan.”  
Minho’s cheeks colored, and he turned away from Felix and a bewildered Hyunjin to hide it. “I’m gonna go to the bathroom. I have to leave in ten minutes anyway; might as well change,” he mumbled, shuffling away.   
Felix turned to look at Hyunjin and sighed. “Hyung’s really trying hard to hide something here. I guess it’s not our place to pry, but-”  
“No no no! It is _totally_ our place to pry!” Hyunjin insisted. “I am a drama seeker, but aside from that, he seems really stressed. I’m afraid it might throw off the squad dynamic, especially seeing as your boyfriend’s probably gonna be around here more often since he was properly introduced today.”  
Felix sighed, knowing that Hyunjin was right. He was going to get to the bottom of whatever this was and find out if Minho indeed had strong feelings about Han.  
-  
It was finally time for his shift, and Minho practically ran to the coffee shop, even though it would probably be a good couple of hours before Sungji actually showed up. Minho quickly dialed up the orders of all the 8:30-9 customers, and traffic started slowing down around 9:30. The good thing about today was that Han was finally appearing on a live show after so long to talk about his upcoming album. Minho remembered that his recording session had been at 8, so he would probably be on air at around 10:30. It felt weird having insider information as if Minho was actually a close friend of Han’s instead of a faraway fan. 

The clock now read 11:23 PM. Minho had Han’s program pulled up on his screen, which was just about to end. He kept one of his eyes on the door, however, to see if Sungji had decided to make his appearance. He sighed when another five minutes passed, but he reasoned that Sungji could just be busy. Or he could have actually been pulling Minho’s leg, never to be seen again. The thought saddened Minho, but he reminded himself that Sungji hadn’t seemed like that kind of person. But then again, how could he judge a stranger based on one hour-long meeting? Minho wasn’t naive -- he’d only agreed to have an album because Sungji was giving one to him for free and because he’d be meeting him at a coffee shop -- a safe place. He was prepared to be disappointed. Nevertheless, he waited, not being able to contain his obvious excitement.  
“And Mr. Han, what new things can we expect from you in this…” the interviewer droned. Even Han looked uninterested at this point. The same question had been asked to him three times in different forms, so no one could even blame him. Minho rolled his eyes. Who even hired the interviewers these days?  
Minho went back to watching the live program, reasoning that Sungji could just wave his hands in front of his face like he had the first time they’d met.   
On the screen, Han looked down at his watch and seemed to cringe. “Thank you, Mr. Baek,” he interrupted, “but I really do need to get going.” He gave the studio his signature smile. His newly-dyed purple hair shone in the bright lights, making him look even more surreal. Minho couldn’t help but sigh at his beauty.   
“Oh, already?” Mr. Baek, the interviewer, questioned. “You’re a busy young man, aren’t you? Chatting up all the girls, am I right?” the interviewer mused while wiggling his eyebrows.   
It took more than a second for Han to respond. His expression looked distant and...if Minho wasn’t being delusional...almost _sad_. But it was gone after a second, and he smiled once more.  
“If I told you what I was up to, I wouldn’t be an idol now, would I? I just want to remind everyone to please look forward to the album.” He winked at the camera.  
Minho frowned. He knew that Han had a busy schedule, but he couldn’t possibly imagine what he had to do at 11 in the night. His managers must be crazy.  
“Alright then,” Han said airily, getting up from his seat. Even though he looked stressed, his charm was effortless. He smiled, his eyes turning into crescents, and Minho suddenly had a sense of deja vu he couldn’t seem to place.   
“Goodnight everyone, or good day if you’re tuning in from around the world. See you soon, everyone!” And Han literally dashed off camera.  
The program continued with the host recapping the highlights of the night, but Minho shut it off. Sungji still hadn’t made his arrival, and it was already 11:40. He started to lose hope concluding that Sungji really was bluffing.   
It was now 11:57. As soon as Minho started packing up his homework that he had periodically been doing throughout the night, the door crashed open with a figure in black running inside in a panic. Minho looked up and caught Sungji’s eye, and the latter hurried over to the counter.  
“Minho! I’m so so sorry. I literally forgot that I had something today and I rushed over as soon as I could.” Sungji was still covered up head to toe, except for his eyes, except this time his eyes had hazel colored contacts and seemed to be smudged with makeup. Minho was intrigued, but he would ask about it later.   
“It’s fine. To be really honest, I didn’t even think you’d come! I mean, you’re actually here to give me a Han album? That’s crazy,” Minho genuinely voiced.  
Sungji shook his head and cocked his neck to the table they’d been at last week. “It really isn’t too big of a deal, I swear. Come on.”  
Minho understood and walked out from behind the counter to the same table. Only then did he notice that Sungji was wearing a backpack this time. As he watched, Sungji unzipped his back and pulled out not one, but both of Han’s albums.   
Minho shook his head, waving his hands out in front of him. “Wait, wait, wait,” he said, not being able to believe his eyes. “You brought me _both_ of the albums? No, I’m sorry, Sungji, I must’ve been crazy when you offered this to me in the first place. These signed albums are literally worth more than sixty dollars combined. I can’t take these from you for free.”  
Sungji sighed, as if he knew he’d get this kind of reaction. “I really swear, Minho, these were just lying around my house collecting dust. I’m not the biggest fan of Han, and when I received these as a birthday present, I never opened them. I didn’t want to sell them, either, because that would mean giving the albums to someone I don’t know.”  
Minho scoffed. “And you know me so well?”  
Sungji’s eyes looked hurt, and Minho instantly regretted what he had said. _He_ was the one receiving the albums from Sungji; he had no right to act like this.  
“I know you better than some random stranger on the internet, I’m pretty sure,” Sungji murmured. He slid the albums across the table to Minho, and the latter couldn’t help but marvel at the pristine packaging. He saw Han’s signature on both of the albums and beamed. They were both written in purple.   
Minho sighed, raising his eyes to Sungji. “I’m sorry I snapped at you like that. I should be thanking you instead. How you managed to get your hands on two signed copies this long after Han’s signed pre orders went out escapes me, but I’m so, so, so glad to have these.” Minho smiled at Sungji. “Thank you so much,” he said honestly.  
Sungji blinked once, twice, and then three times, raising his hand to the back of his neck and slightly shaking his head. “No problem, hyung,” he said, refusing to make eye contact with Minho. He cleared his throat. “I mean, uh, Minho.”  
Minho laughed a little before his eyes locked onto a strand of hair that had come loose from the cap and hoodie Sungji was wearing. It was a lively purple. The same purple as…  
“Han,” Minho said.   
Sungji choked in front of him and coughed to clear it up. “Huh?”  
“You have the same hair color as Han. I-uh, I noticed because I was watching his broadcast earlier today,” Minho admitted sheepishly.  
Sungji sighed. “Oh, yeah? That’s cool; I never knew my fashion choices would be like his.”  
Minho laughed. “Apparently they are! Gosh, I wish I could see your entire face, though. It’s a little awkward just talking to your eyes,” Minho unabashedly admitted.   
Sungji made an apologetic sound. “Yeah, I wish I could take all this getup off as well, but I want to keep you safe,” he looked intently at Minho. _I want to keep you safe._ Minho, for some reason, believed him wholeheartedly.   
“Boo!”   
A voice behind him caused Minho to startle, his face almost crashing into the table in between him and Sungji. The person behind him laughed in a high-pitched and beautiful way, and Minho knew it could only be one person .  
“Yeji! What the hell, what if I’d broken my nose?”  
“Then you would have to get it fixed? Duh,” Yeji retorted, still laughing.   
Minho imitated her back. “Hyunjin really wasn't kidding about you giving him heart attacks,” he mumbled. He turned to Sungji. “This is Yeji, one of my coworkers. Yeji, meet Sungji.” He gestured to Sungji with his hand.  
“Sungji?” Yeji said while raising an eyebrow. “You mean Ji-”   
“Pleasure to meet you, Yeji, I’m Sungji, as Minho here already told you.” His voice had gone up at least two octaves, so it was clear that he was nervous. Well, Minho really couldn’t blame him; Yeji was stunning.  
“Right,” Yeji said while smirking. “I’m Yeji, as I’m sure you already know. It’s great seeing you here again,” she mused.   
Minho’s head was spinning. “Wait, you’ve come here before?” Minho asked, turning to Sungji.  
“I-well, yeah. I’ve come around at like 1 before. Maybe it’s the reason I haven’t ever seen you before last week?” Minho nodded. It was a legitimate reason.   
“Anyways, we’ve got to catch up sometime, _Sungji._ Ever since I quit the trainee life, I’ve been seeing you around less and less.”  
Minho’s mouth was agape once again. “Hold up. You were a _trainee?_ ” He thought he knew Yeji pretty well, but he’d never heard this before. “Why didn’t you stay? You could’ve been so successful. You literally have the looks of a model.”  
“It still makes no sense to me, Minho, that you’re still single. With your insanely good looks and your compliments, literally, any girl would be head over heels for you.”  
“I-well, I haven’t found the right person yet,” Minho mumbled. “And, uh, I’m into girls, but not as much as I am into...you know.”  
“Boys?” Yeji questioned. “Oh man, I’m so sorry for making an assumption. Thanks for telling us, Minho.”   
Us? Oh, right. Sungji was sitting right here too. Minho quickly glanced at him, but he didn’t seem to be fazed at all by Minho’s sexuality. In fact, he was staring right at Minho, something gleaming in his eyes. “Whew, nice to know that someone else is in the same boat as me,” Sungji laughed. “My state is the exact same as yours. Girls are hot, but boys are almost always hotter.” The way Sungji said it caused Minho to guffaw, and everyone in the coffee shop cast the three of them dirty looks. Minho couldn’t blame them; they were running almost exclusively on coffee, working on assignments that were probably due in a few hours.  
“Anyway, to answer your question, I basically figured out that the idol life was not for me. I figured I could be better as a songwriter since they don’t have to be in the limelight, so I went back to college to study music. Oh, and Hyunjin talked me out of it. He said that twins should stick together forever. Always sentimental, that one,” Yeji said, shaking her head. “Our mom was literally driven up the wall by his antics.”  
Minho giggled. Although he was close friends with only one of the Hwang twins, he felt that he knew both of them too well by the amount they talked about each other.   
“Yeah, the idol life is tough. Or so I’ve heard,” Sungji added quickly. “Schedules and managers...it seems like a lot to handle.”  
“Yeah,” Yeji said. “Sungji. Could I have a word with you for a minute? Outside, maybe?” She looked at Minho to make sure he was okay with it as well, and he nodded.   
As Sungji and Yeji went out the door of the coffee shop, Minho went back behind the counter to gather up the rest of his things and stuff them into his backpack. His two new albums shone in his back zip, his heart bursting with happiness. It was literally the universe smiling down upon him for him to have met a stranger who gave him these. For free.   
He still didn’t know why Yeji had insisted on talking to Sungji outside, but it was none of his business anyway. He barely even knew one of them, and the other had no obligation to tell him what was going on in her life.  
After only a minute, Yeji came bursting back into the coffee shop, mumbling something about her shift already having started. Sungji lagged behind a little, his bright mood suddenly having disappeared.


	4. I Just Can't Tell You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Firstly, Happy New Year to everyone! I hope that 2021 treats everyone well, especially after this whirlwind of a year.   
> You'll be starting to notice some of the problems that come out of an idol and regular civilian relationship here. Unfortunately, it's the truth for many idols.
> 
> Hope you enjoy the chapter!

_Outside, 2 minutes ago_  
As soon as the door to the coffee shop swung closed and Minho was out of earshot, Yeji spun around.  
“Alright, spill it, boy. What the _hell_ are you doing?”  
Jisung sighed behind his mask. “I didn’t mean to come here again, it was an accident!”  
Yeji pinched the bridge of her nose. “You know very well that’s not what I mean. That boy in there? Minho? He’s a huge fan of yours. You gave him two of your albums for _free._ Why?”  
Jisung shook his head. “I just want something new in my life, you know? Something past all those stupid radio interviews and talk shows. The only thing that has kept me going this far is my fans, but in the grand scheme of things, I’m pretty much alone. Other than Chan hyung and Changbin hyung, perhaps, those two are angels. But I’m in the limelight alone.”  
Yeji nodded and huffed out a breath. “I understand all of that Jisung, but you’re the one who chose an idol life. You chose this.”  
Jisung cringed behind his mask. “I didn’t choose any of _this_. I just chose music, and I realized too late there were too many strings attached. I can’t even go out in public without this ridiculous getup,” he said, gesturing to his costume.   
“But Jisung...it’s only a matter of time before Minho realizes who you are. That boy is slow, but he’s not entirely stupid. And the moment he does realize...well. To be honest, I have no idea what will happen.”  
“If he does find out,” Jisung murmured.  
Yeji narrowed her eyes. “So you want to be friends with a guy who _doesn’t even know what your face looks like?_ ” she questioned, accenting every word. “That doesn’t sound like a very healthy relationship.”  
“If he does find out, I’ll just leave, I guess. It’ll be easier for both of us.”  
“That’s the part where you’re just _wrong_ , Jisung,” Yeji said sadly. “You can do that because as an idol, you’ve been trained to let go of these things. Jisung, he’s a normal guy. He goes to college and works part time at a coffee shop. Think about him before you get yourself involved in any of this shit, yeah?” Yeji snapped her fingers in Jisung’s face. “And don’t think I haven’t noticed the atmosphere around you two. Something tells me that if this goes on for much longer, the energy around you two is not going to be _just_ friendly anymore. And that, I hope you realize, is a huge issue. Forget the fact that you’re an idol, you also have to remember the fact that he’s a _boy_. It shouldn’t be like this, but think about what the general public will think. Think about your fans, as shallow as that might seem. Please, Jisung.”  
Jisung nodded along to everything that Yeji had said just for the sake of showing he was listening to her if nothing else.   
“Good. Now, let’s go back in and you can say your final goodbyes to him. Do it now, while the string’s still thin, Jisung. It will hurt less in the long run.”  
Jisung nodded, but he was close to tears. He knew he had chosen this life but wasn’t he entitled to happiness as well? Wasn’t he allowed to live a life that wasn’t dictated by the people around him? Worse, the people who supported him?  
Yeji noticed and opened her arms. Jisung almost instantly fell into them. The hug felt safe and comforting, and he allowed himself to sniffle a few times before pulling back.   
Yeji smiled at him and cocked her head towards the door.   
-  
Minho stared at Sungji, wondering why his mood suddenly seemed so gloomy.   
“Yeji’s on her shift, so I’ll be going now. Goodbye, Minho. Thanks for everything.”  
Minho’s head spun. He didn’t like the finality with which Sungji said those words. “Wait, Sungji...I should be the one saying thanks to you! Actually, hang on a minute,” he said, rummaging through his pocket to find his phone. “Would you mind putting your contact in for me?”  
Sungji hurriedly nodded and took Minho’s phone. He typed it in and gave it back, and Minho smiled brightly. “Great, thanks! Should I drop you off wherever you’re going?”  
“Actually, I think I’ll be fine getting there on my own, thank you,” Sungji said, already opening the coffee shop front door. “Bye Minho. Nice meeting you, for real. He tried to give Minho as genuine of a look as possible with only his eyes and slipped out the door. He walked and walked, ignoring Minho running out into the street and asking him where his number even was. He broke into a run, almost hoping that Minho would chase him.  
He didn’t. 

Minho walked back into the shop, crushed. He sat down at one of the tables to regain his bearings, throwing his phone down in front of him. A few students looked up to roll their eyes, but he didn’t notice.  
Why had Sungji run out on him like that? Why hadn’t he given him a real phone number?  
He stared at the screen, which only said “Sungji” and the number “1234567890”. He couldn’t imagine why Sungji agreed to give him his number only to give him a fake one. Maybe he had changed his mind and decided he didn’t like Minho after all.  
It was a devastating thought, but Minho reminded himself of his lab test tomorrow at 8. He had to go home and rest, no matter what the cost of the night was.   
Yeji turned around from the counter and cast Minho a pitiful glance, but she knew this was for the good of both of the guys. Secretly, she did wish there was a way for them to happen.   
-  
Minho, Hyunjin, Felix, and Changbin were once again huddled in the dance studio.  
Minho and Hyunjin were still trying to expel the image of Felix and Changbin doing _less than decent things_. (Hyunjin had gasped dramatically, and Felix and Changbin had jumped apart, pink dusting both of their cheeks. “How dare you do this in this sacred place?” Hyunjin boomed, clutching his chest.   
“Give it a rest, Hyunjin, don’t act like we haven’t caught you in here before,” Felix shot back. Minho had chuckled a little, but the events of Tuesday were still weighing heavily on him.)  
Minho recited some general comments he had about their choreography in a dull voice, and the other three’s eyes glanced back and forth between each other, clearly worried about this development.   
“And Felix, you need to work on your expressions a bit more just for the finishing touch. Other than that, I think we’re in decent shape,” Minho finished. He frowned. “Why are the three of you looking at me like that?”  
“Spill, boy,” Hyunjin deadpanned.   
Felix shushed him and turned to Minho in a more conciliatory tone. “We’re just worried about you, hyung.” Felix, having been born and raised in Australia before moving to Korea two years ago, rarely ever used hyung. This meant that the matter was serious. “You haven’t been acting like yourself lately. Did something happen that we should know about?”  
Minho sighed, allowing himself to give in. Hyunjin, Felix, and even Changbin were people he trusted, but he felt stupid for what preoccupied him. “Promise me you won’t laugh.” Felix and Changbin assured him they wouldn’t and Hyunjin, to his credit, nodded silently without making any further comments.  
“Alright. I met this guy at the coffee shop I work at. Long story short, we met two weeks ago and we basically just clicked. It felt like I knew him for my entire life. The only thing was, he was wearing a mask and a sweatshirt and pants that literally covered every part of his body other than his eyes. He said he had some type of disease he didn’t want other people catching.”  
Beside him, Minho heard Changbin suck in a breath, and he assumed that it was because he knew where this was going -- a heartbreak.  
Changbin _indeed_ knew where this was going because a certain boy had been ranting about “this really pretty guy who works at a coffee shop who I gave free copies of my albums to” just one day ago. It all clicked, but it wasn’t his place to reveal any of this.  
Minho finished explaining. “So yeah, that’s basically how it ended,” Minho said. “I know I shouldn’t be this sad, considering that I’d only known the guy for like a week, and we’d literally only been talking for a few hours. But I just felt this connection, you know? It’s been a long time since I’ve felt that with anyone. And then he was gone.”  
Felix reached out to Minho and took his hand, feeling for his friend. Hyunjin rested his hand on Minho’s shoulder.   
Even Changbin had a few words to say. “Minho, I know it seems dire right now...but think about it from a different angle. From what I’ve heard so far, I don’t think the guy hates you. I just think that there may be some other things going on behind the scenes in his life that you may not be aware of.”  
Minho sighed. “That’s what I keep telling myself, Bin, but it’s hard to believe. He seemed like such a normal person.”  
“That’s because he _is_ a normal person,” Changbin murmured.  
Minho’s eyes narrowed. “You seem to know a lot about this person.” He didn’t mean for it to be rude, but he figured it came out that way because of how quickly Changbin paled.  
“I mean, _every_ person is a normal person, yeah,” Changbin quickly said. “You never know, Minho. But your friend Yeji is right; the best thing to do in the situation is to just let it go. There are plenty of other people out there, and for a guy as charismatic as you, it shouldn’t be too tough to find tons of people.”  
To Minho, Changbin’s words seemed reminiscent of what Yeji had told him, but he didn’t want to talk about this further.   
“Fine, then.” He didn’t know why, but he felt unhappy about not being able to see a guy he’d known for just two hours.   
-  
Minho wanted to scream.   
Out of happiness, that is.   
He wanted to throw his phone but also scour it. Because this morning, he’d received an email that HE was the recipient of the free fan meeting.   
He’d obviously thought it was a joke, but he cross-checked the sender’s email and company and it was the exact same one that scheduled these fan meets with idols. He still couldn’t believe his luck.  
 _I’m going to see Han. I’m_ actually _going to see Han_ , he thought with glee. The fan meet was still about a couple of weeks away, so he had time to put together a presentation for his favorite artist. Maybe he’d get him something like a coffee mug and a card.  
He wondered if there was anything that he wanted him to autograph, then thought about the new albums he now had.  
 _Oh wait,_ he remembered. _Those albums are already autographed_. They were because Sungji had miraculously gotten ahold of some.  
 _Sungji_. Remembering him and the abrupt way he had left dampened Minho’s happiness by the tiniest amount, but not enough to bring down his mood for the day. Still, he wondered who the boy with the face mask and hoodie was behind all of that, who he was to his friends, to his family, to everyone. 

Minho took a deep breath. He had to tell the boys about this; he was too excited not to. But if they thought him being a fanboy was weird and funny, he couldn’t do anything about it.   
“Guys. Please, hear me out here.”  
Hyunjin and Felix looked up from the phone they were sharing for this new show that had come out, coffee in both of their hands. “Sure, hyung, what is it?” Hyunjin questioned.  
Minho sighed. “Look, I really hope that you guys don’t take this the wrong way. Like, it’s kind of serious. And don’t make fun of me, because I am not telling you this for that.”  
At this, Felix sat up a bit straighter. “Dang, hyung, if it’s that serious, just let us know. We’d never laugh at you to hurt your feelings. Honestly.” He thought for a moment. “Well, I can’t speak for Hyunjin,” which earned Felix a whack on the shoulder, “but I swear I won’t. And hyung, haven’t we been over this already? You can tell us anything.”  
“Yeah, yeah, sorry guys. I’m still getting used to opening up to people like that, even if they _are_ my best friends,” Minho voiced. ‘But here it is. You know Han, right?”  
Felix nodded his head as if it was obvious. “The idol who is under the same company my boyfriend produces for. Wait, who was that again?”  
Minho ignored him. “Right. Well, I scored a ticket to his fan meet which is in two weeks.”  
Hyunjin eyed Minho. “Really? Dang, that’s extremely lucky. I suppose you’re gonna sell it now? That ticket would land some big bucks if you put it on the right site.”  
“Yeah, well, that’s the thing. I’m gonna go to his fan meeting. I really like Han. No, actually, his voice is literally the highlight of my day. And I told you not to laugh, remember, but I’m such a huge fanboy for him and I guess it’s about time that I admit it.” It all came out in a rush and Minho carefully studied the two’s faces, seeing if he could get a gauge of their reactions.  
But Felix and Hyunjin only smiled. “I knew there was no way a romantic like you didn’t stan anyone in K-Pop!” Hyunjin yelled. He jumped off the couch and sauntered over to Minho, clapping him on the back. “Literally all of us have something that we love that we don’t want to show others; a guilty pleasure. Yours isn’t even that bad; Han is well-liked and popular literally everywhere. He has the most varied fanbase probably in the entire industry. I myself am a fan, although not a hardcore one,” Hyunjin mused.  
Felix grinned. “Oh, sure, Hyunjin. As if you haven’t been begging me to use my connection to score your _own_ fan meet. At least Minho hyung here is doing it the correct way.”  
Minho’s eyes widened. “Hyunjin, you tried to _use_ Felix?” he said while cracking a smile.  
Hyunjin raised his hands in defense. “It’s not like that! Gosh, hyung, I just gave you an entire speech on why stanning Han is ok and you have to come out and accuse me with Felix like that? Your behavior is so, ugh!”  
Everyone instantly burst out laughing.   
As Minho recovered, he turned to his two friends. “Yeah, so, that’s all. I really don’t know what I should get him, maybe a coffee mug since I work at a coffee shop anyway.  
Felix tapped his chin. “I wish there was a way for us to perform the dance we choreographed on his song for him.” He snapped his fingers. “Unless...well, no, I don’t think I should do that just yet.”  
“Do what?” Hyunjin questioned.   
Felix sighed. “Things are going really well with Changbin hyung, but I don’t want to seem like a nuisance and push him to arrange an event with Han for us. Plus that definitely would not be fair.”  
Minho sighed. “Fair enough. Although I did hear two vocalists at our school scored a free trainee internship for a couple of months at Quokka Entertainment. _They’d_ probably get to see Han.”  
Felix clicked his tongue. “Those two vocalists are probably super talented anyway; they deserve a meeting with Han if they get one. Now, for the rest of us...I think Changbin hyung might let us meet Han at some point in the future, but I’m not gonna push it right now. I don’t want him to think that I’m just using him for clout.”  
Hyunjin rolled his eyes.”It is literally impossible for him to think that. You literally have stars in your eyes when you look at him, Felix, and it’s disgusting.”  
As Felix fumed at Hyunjin, Minho smiled to himself. _At least they finally know and approve. I can’t believe I held that in for so long, and it wasn’t bad at all._  
Still, even though the fan meeting with Han was coming up in two weeks, his schedule for the next few weeks was packed with exams, projects, and a showcase. He would have to be at his very best working capacity to make it through alive.  
He took a deep breath and smiled. This is what he, Lee Minho, lived for anyway.


	5. Watch Me (On Stage)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, regrettably, since I can't write as fast as I want to update, I'll probably have to start spacing out chapter updates more. (Sorry! :( )  
> This chapter is probably a bit shorter than usual, but I am working on the next ones and will try to get them up ASAP!
> 
> Meanwhile, I hope you enjoy the introduction of our two maknaes :)
> 
> Thanks y'all :D

A week out from the showcase, Minho saw a figure standing next to the fountain in his college plaza.  
Well, the figure was covered head to toe, so it was more like a shadow.   
Minho looked at the figure’s physique and assumed it represented a male, although he didn’t want to be one who assumed. He got a little closer but stopped when he saw a faded logo on a sweatshirt.  
The same sweatshirt that he had seen Sungji, the mysterious man at the coffee shop who had left him nothing but Han albums in his wake. He saw purple hair poking out of his beanie and swallowed.  
 _Should I even approach him? Is there a point, after he ran out like that? Clearly, he didn’t want to be around me anymore._ The gears in Minho’s head were turning a million miles a minute, but his feet had already started walking towards the almost-stranger. That was one thing about Minho; he was impulsive when he started thinking too much. This was one of those times that could potentially have a really good or really bad outcome.  
Minho decided to say something, at the very least. He shuffled up to Sungji and cleared his throat. “Hey.”  
Sungji jumped and almost dropped the phone he’d been scrolling on into the fountain. He relaxed when he saw it was just another person, but his relaxation turned into shock and fear when his eyes landed on Minho.   
“H-h-h-hey…” he managed to stammer out, eyes never leaving Minho’s face.  
Minho tilted his head. He had expected Sungji to run off, sure, but all Sungji did was look around them a couple of times and start talking.   
“Look Minho...I’m really sorry about last time. It’s just that I-”   
“Already forgiven. You got me the albums, remember?” Minho was desperate to move on from the past, scared of Sungji running away again.  
“Right, well. Yeah. I was just standing here waiting for a friend.”  
Minho smiled. “A friend? Who? I know almost everyone on this campus.”  
“Well, it’s more like a couple of friends I guess. I don’t even know if we’re friends yet. Acquaintances?”  
Minho realized what he was probably doing and tried to back off. “Wait, I’m sorry if I’m intruding on your privacy or something. You don’t have to tell me.”  
Sungji laughed a little. “No, no, it’s all good. Their names are Seungmin and Jeongin. They’re both fairly new to the college, I think. They’re good guys.”  
As if on cue, two tall boys walked up to Sungji and Minho with huge smiles.   
“Yo, what’s good, man!” The one with cat-like eyes yelled. The other one, with features that reminded Minho of a cute dog, shushed him. Minho smirked; that was all the information he needed to deduce their ages. The cat-eyed guy was surely younger.  
“Seungmin, Jeongin, you’re looking well, as always,” Sungji mused. “This is Minho.”  
Seungmin and Jeongin turned to Minho, and to say the very least, their jaws dropped. “You’re kidding. Like, _THE Lee Minho_? Dancing king probably in this entire state? Nationally acclaimed?”  
Sungji, with widened eyes, turned back to Minho. “You’re that famous around here? No wonder your physique is so strong. A true dancer.”   
For some reason, Sungji’s comments brought a pink tinge to Minho’s cheeks, but he didn’t think much of it.   
“Uh, yeah, hi guys. Seems you already know me?” Minho attempted, trying to lighten the conversation as he always did.   
“Of course we do, but that’s beside the point. What are you two doing together? Would never have thought that you, Minho hyung, would be hanging out with…” Minho thought he saw Sungji shoot a death glare at Jeongin, but he couldn’t be sure. “S-Sungji hyung here! Yeah, small world, isn’t it?” Jeongin quickly spluttered.  
Sungji rolled his eyes. “Ignore him.” Minho relaxed. At least Sungji seemed a bit more at ease with him. “Alright, but uh, we have to get going. We have to be somewhere in ten minutes. So...bye, Minho.”  
“Bye. Will I see you around?”  
Sungji looked at him out of the corner of his eye. “Maybe.”  
Seungmin and Jeongin turned around and gave Minho looks that he couldn’t place, but before he could say anything else, the three of them were out of earshot.   
Minho sighed, unable to understand whether this was a win or a failure. He _had_ managed to talk to Sungji for a little bit, even after he’d run out on him, so that was a good thing. But the way Sungji had said “maybe” to him afterward implied that he didn’t intend on seeing Minho any time soon.   
Minho tried to convince his brain to file this interaction away in a folder labeled “This Means Nothing” and walked off to his physics lecture.   
-  
The day of the showcase was here, and Minho was surprisingly calm, considering that this was worth 15% percent of his grade for the semester. He checked his image in the reflection of the mirror in front of him and reset a strand of hair that had gone askew.  
Minho wasn’t going to lie to himself; he knew he looked stunning. The stylists had really outdone themselves this time around; the makeup he had described was exactly how he had wanted it. He made a mental note to thank the head stylist, Chaeryeong, when this was over.  
As Minho stretched before coming out onto the stage in front of hundreds of spectators and his professor, he performed a ritual he always did before dancing.   
He stretched.  
It didn’t sound like much of a ritual, really, but Minho had learned the hard way that stretching too little before going for a taxing choreography such as this one was a huge mistake, one that could cost you weeks of practice. So he stretched out every muscle of his body, starting from his feet up to his head, making a mental tally of which ones he’d done. He was just stretching out his neck when Ryujin, a dancer in Felix and Hyunjin’s year, walked in.  
“Minho hyung,” Ryujin called out. It was technically appropriate for her to call him “Oppa”, but neither of them wanted to think of the implications behind that word; they were like distant cousins. “Are you ready?”  
Minho side-eyed Ryujin and smirked. “Of course I am, my dear Ryujin. Fancy seeing you around here; you haven’t been to a single freshman practice for a month now.”  
Ryujin flushed. “T-that’s because…”  
“It’s alright, I know you don’t have any huge projects this semester. But you better not slack off later on, or your GPA is going to tank.”  
Ryujin rolled her eyes and saluted. “Roger, Captain Lee. I’m just here to remind you that you’re on stage in less than two minutes now. Good luck.”  
As she ducked out of the room, Minho took one last moment to expel every single thought that had been swimming around his head for the past week. Finals, Han’s fan meeting, and also Sungji. This moment was just about dance.  
The moment he stepped out on stage to see the crowd, and the second the first note of his song played, he was gone, lost in his art.

“Hyung, that was the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen in my life!” Felix eagerly commented. After Minho had finished his performance, he and Hyunjin had all but careened towards the changing rooms behind the stage, sending the makeup palette of a very surprised and enraged stylist flying.   
“I swear, there was a point where you were, like, glowing,” Hyunjin said. And the fact that you did all the styling yourself, from the makeup to the outfits to the choreography? You’re literally a genius. No wonder you have a full scholarship to one of the most prestigious dance schools ever.” Minho shook his head at the praise, smiling. He got a lot of it, but even then, compliments always had the same effect on him.   
“If that coffee shop guy had seen this, then he’d literally be head over heels for you right now, no kidding.”  
The mention of Sungji brought Minho back from his post-dance high just a little bit, but enough to bring him back to his senses and rush to the changing room. He had just about fifteen minutes before he was due to be at the coffee shop for his shift again. He cursed himself for setting his shift this week to be right after the showcase, but it was the only way he’d be free to go to Han’s fan meet later in the week.   
As he drove to the shop, he told himself that the highlight of his week was yet to come. He just needed to wait a little longer.   
-  
The morning of the fan meet, Minho made sure that his gift was properly wrapped. He was having his doubts about it, but there was no time to second guess himself now. He checked himself in the mirror to make sure he at least looked presentable. He had opted for a loose dress shirt tucked into leather pants and shiny dance shoes. Anyone else might’ve thought it was a bit over the top, but not Minho the dancer.   
His eyes were decorated with smoke around them, a sparkly highlight dusted across his cheeks. His lips were a soft blossom color, almost looking natural.   
Minho knew he would turn heads when he went to the venue, but he really only wanted to see one person today. The person who had endlessly inspired him, the one who had encouraged him to keep going, the one who had been his savior without even knowing that Minho existed.


	6. Hello.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Minho finally gets to meet his idol.  
> Oh, you're going to have to buckle up for the next few chapters.
> 
> I'm considering posting something (like an afterthought???) of how things are unfolding from Sungji/Han's point of view. Like bonus chapters?  
> I'm not sure how or where I would do those but any ideas are always welcome :)
> 
> Hope you enjoy the chapter!
> 
> edit: omg I didn't even name this chapter I just did but it's pretty basic

When he got to the place, he discovered a gigantic food court that literally called to him, considering that he’d only had a banana for breakfast this morning. He checked the time on his watch; 12:03. The meet started at about 1:15, so he had plenty of time.  
Ten minutes later, as Minho was scarfing down a burrito, he noticed a hooded figure, with the hoodie that he recognized so well now. A small tuft of purple hair peeked out from his getup, and Minho couldn’t help but wonder what Sungji was doing here. He leaned over his table curiously but left his takeout bag in front of his face lest Sungji looked in his direction. A closer inspection, however, made it look like Sungji was frantic. He whipped his head around, eyes wide in fear, and as soon as he spotted something on the second floor, he made a run for it to the escalators that would take him up to the third. Out of curiosity, Minho turned around and noticed a group of three girls who were clad head to toe with Han merch and signs. They had masks on, presumably to hide their identities from everyone else. Minho understood why, with a sickening lurch. He fought down his anger; he couldn’t risk going and making a scene.  
The sasaengs visibly deflated when they realized their target was not to be seen anywhere, but Minho wondered why they even bothered. Surely they realized that Han was probably in a secure room right now, getting ready for the showcase anyway?  
As for Sungji, Minho reasoned that he was probably just spooked by the girls and ran off. Minho understood why too; now that he thought about it, Sungji had a really similar physique and hair color to Han’s. It would probably be easy to mistake them, except Sungji, other than being perpetually sick, walked the streets pretty much like a normal person.  
Minho heard a voice deep inside him begging to be heard, for him to entertain a small possibility, but he didn’t stop and listen. There was no point, anyway.  
While Minho had been lost in his thoughts, the sasaengs seemed to have disappeared, and Minho let out a breath. He didn’t know if it was out of concern or relief because for all he knew, the girls could be one step closer to finding Han. He hoped to God that they would at least have the decency not to jump him if they did find him. 

12:45. It was about time that Minho started heading to the designated area of the fan meeting, especially since the line was probably going to be miles long. He didn’t mind waiting to meet Han, but he was so anxious about today that he figured getting it done as soon as possible would reduce the chances of him making a fool out of himself in front of his role model. Even if that role model was a couple of years younger than him.  
The rotunda area of the mall featured a small stage with ropes tying off the designated waiting area for Han’s fans. There was a microphone set up on the stage for Han to perform a few of his most popular songs for the fans.  
In a way, Minho thought, this fan meet was a mini-concert, except more intimate and exciting. Han would personally meet everyone and turn around and sing songs for them as well. It was any fangirl or fanboy’s dream come true. As soon as it hit Minho, he wanted to melt on the spot and leave his remains for the janitors to clean up.  
There was already a growing line, so Minho ducked in as soon as possible. He looked around and noted that the audience of the fan meet was still pretty much the same as the audience Han had in concerts and worldwide in general; varied across genders and ages. He saw a middle-aged man almost in tears ranting to a teenage girl about how he was about to meet the man who saved his life, and he saw an elementary school girl waving her own “HAN” sign and screaming that his songs made her feel happy. A smile graced his lips. The Han effect could not be replicated by anyone, ever.  
A couple of girls in front of him slowly turned around to glance at him and spun back around, giggling. The shorter one looked at Minho through her eyelashes and then hid her face with her hair.  
Minho raised an eyebrow. Gosh, he knew he was good-looking, but it was probably his over-done makeup that already had girls swooning over him within a couple of minutes of him entering the room. He smirked a little, but ignored the two in front of him, focusing his attention on the stage and curtains instead. It seemed like something was stirring behind them.  
Everyone else who hadn’t noticed did so a little bit after Minho and a hush took over the crowd. The curtains moved around some more, and suddenly, a head with purple hair peeked out through them. He grinned his heart-shaped smile and walked through the curtains completely, waving at the crowd.  
All around Minho, people were cheering, laughing, crying, fainting, everything imaginable. But he himself was mystified.  
Han was positively _glowing_. Minho noticed this more than a few times and still couldn’t believe it. He knew Han was a cute and good-looking guy, but seeing him in person really shattered any standards you’d come in with. Minho couldn’t do anything but gape at Han’s aura. 

The event seemed to fly by because of how much Minho was enjoying himself. He found himself belting lyrics to songs and dancing next to strangers he felt he’d known for years. But when the time for actually going up to the stage and meeting Han came, Minho was far from prepared.  
Only about twenty-five fans got to meet Han, and they had to have gotten an exclusive ticket. Through the giveaway, Minho was one of them. When those fans were asked to step forward, he walked up to the front of the area and showed his ticket to a security guard. The guard nodded and gestured for Minho to take a spot in the meet and greet line. Minho nodded nervously.  
Han was still waving and talking to the general crowd, so the guards quickly rushed up to the stage and notified him that it was time for the individual meeting to begin. Han visibly pouted, causing a chorus of “awwwws” from the crowd. He turned to address them.  
“It has been a great afternoon with y’all. You’re all seriously the highlight of my career and so much of the reason why I love to do what I do. Thank you for being my inspiration, as much as I aspire to be yours. Have a great rest of your day, everyone! I’ll be live tomorrow at the usual time, so let’s meet again soon!”  
The crowd released a few groans of displeasure at the thought of leaving Han but mostly cheered for him as he walked to the table set up for him at the end of the stage. The first fan in the personal meet line was beckoned forward by the guards, and she stepped onto the stage and into the chair in front of her.  
Minho looked around. Including the girl, there were about ten people in front of him, which meant that he would see Han in about fifteen minutes. It wasn’t very long at all, but it was going to feel like an eternity.  
Minho had been so lost in his thoughts that he hadn’t even noticed when the security guard had beckoned him forward for his turn to meet Han. The security guard stepped forward and waved his hands in Minho’s face. “Sir, I apologize, but we’re really going to have to keep things moving here. It’s your turn to go see him.”  
Minho’s face snapped up and his cheeks reddened. “Oh right! I’m so sorry.”  
The guard smiled wistfully. “I wish I could personally meet him like that,” he said. “Even though I’ve been standing next to him for the entire event, I didn’t get to say a word to him. You’re a lucky young man, you should know that.” The security guard cracked a small smile and stepped aside for Minho.  
Minho’s heart pounded as he climbed the steps up to the stage. He saw Han busy straightening the various gifts and cards he’d already received from his fans. It seemed that one fan had gotten him an Apple Watch. Minho’s eyes widened when he saw the expensive item, feeling both embarrassed and in awe at how a fan could afford something like that.  
Minho took a deep breath and sat down in the chair in front of Han. He was finally within Han’s personal space, so close that he could reach out and touch him (which he wouldn’t do without Han’s permission, of course. He was nowhere near the category of sasaengs.)  
Han, who seemingly recognized that there was another person in front of him, spoke out a greeting. “Hello, how are you doing today?”  
When he finally looked up at Minho, however, his face dropped. His hands released the cards that they had been straightening, and his eyes turned into gigantic saucers.  
Minho panicked. Did he look that bad today? Did something happen to Han? He wrung his hands, but Han suddenly seemed to regain his senses, hastily shoving the now-unruly stack of cards away from him. A tentative but genuine smile lit up his features. “Well, hello there.”  
Minho’s eyes darted about and he managed to cough out a greeting. He looked Han in the eye and asked. “Han-ssi, why were you so startled when you first looked at me? I thought I looked so bad that I sent you in shock,” Minho said, attempting to lighten the mood with humor.  
It worked, maybe a little too well, because Han laughed loud and clear. He set his face on his hands. “Gosh, I’ve missed you,” he whispered, before catching himself.  
Han waved his hands around frantically, explaining to Minho that he missed all of his fans a lot. Minho nodded in acknowledgment, but it didn’t stop his gut from twisting. A strange emotion filled his brain. He tried to place it but in vain. Was it...almost nostalgia?  
_Why is he talking as if he knows me from somewhere?_  
Minho shook his head to clear it and placed his gift bag in front of Han, so small compared to the massive piles of gifts from other fans littering the table.  
“Han-ssi...my name’s Lee Minho. This is just a little thing I wanted to get for you,” Minho ventured. “It’s not much -- I’m a Uni student.” The entire time, Han fixed him with wide eyes, nodding excitedly to every word Minho said, and unbeknown to Minho, leaning in at every pause. Anyone watching the encounter very closely would’ve noticed that the atmosphere between these two was much more different than with Han and his other fans, and Han’s manager was watching _very_ closely.  
After Minho had spoken, Han grinned wide enough to light an entire universe. “Thanks so much, Minho,” Han murmured, pure ecstasy in his eyes. Even Minho was taken aback by such a genuine reaction.  
Han reached into the back, past the tissue paper, and pulled out a coffee tumbler. It had Han’s silhouette on the set of the “I got it” MV on one side, and the set of the “Close” MV on the other. It was such a subtle present, yet to Han, it meant the world.  
“This is incredible. Did you design this on your own?”  
Minho shyly nodded. “I created the design on an application and requested the tumbler to be made with it. Thankfully, it turned out well.” He scratched his neck, wondering if he should tell him the next piece of information or if it would be too much. “I actually work part-time at a coffee shop, so this is the thing that came to my mind first.”  
“It’s literally the best thing I could’ve asked for, I’m not even kidding,” Han replied. Then, a little softer, he murmured so that Minho could barely hear his next words. “But I am because you’re the best thing I could’ve asked for.” Minho spluttered, sure he had heard Han wrong, but he refrained from commenting. He’d only embarrass himself.  
Han set the tumbler on one side of the table, away from the clutter of the cards and other gifts he had received. Minho once again wondered about the special treatment. Surely Han hadn’t actually liked his gift more than the others and he was just doing this as another aspect of fanservice. Right?  
Han flicked some hair that had gotten into his eyes away, and Minho couldn’t help but comment on it. “You know, your hair is literally the same exact color as this guy I recently met.” Minho was looking away from Han, so he didn’t notice Han suddenly tense up. “I don’t see him very often, but I really do want to get closer to him. I feel like he could be my best friend if we spent longer together, you know?” Minho’s eyes widened as he realized he was literally spilling his life problems in front of his _idol_ , who probably couldn’t care less about _his_ personal life.  
But Han’s reply shocked him anyway. He fixed him with his wide eyes once more, and Minho was somehow captivated. “You know, Minho, I think he might just be a little scared to open up to others. I know some people who are like that. Heck, I myself just met a guy who I want to be friends with badly, but my schedule doesn’t allow us to meet up as often as I would like.” He paused. Minho understood -- Han probably didn’t want to give away too much about his own very valuable personal life to a random fan. He was an idol, and those moments of freedom were very dear to him. “All I’m saying is, it’s alright. It might work out, and it might not. But you seem like an amazing person, Minho, and anyone who doesn’t want to be best friends with you is probably a fool.” He smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. Minho opened his mouth to say something.  
But just as quickly as it had started, their time together was up. The security guard walked up to the table to alert the two that it was time for the next fan to meet Han, and Minho quickly glanced at Han’s face. He really couldn’t believe his eyes, and he would be analyzing the moment for days afterward. But he saw a look of pure sadness flash across Han’s face, his eyes quickly darkening. A split second later, it was gone, but Minho had noticed. He’d noticed, and he had no idea what to do with the information.  
“Well, Minho, I really enjoyed talking with you. I’ll see you soon, yeah?” Han said with a smile.  
Minho was still confused of course, but he gave Han a genuine smile back. If they were normal people, he was sure that Han would be one of his best friends. Their chemistry in the last minute had been unreal. “Yeah, I’ll try my best to attend a future concert, Han-ssi. See you!”  
Han waved back. “Please, it’s Jisung. And Minho...you look positively lovely today.” His heart-shaped smile widened when he saw a very flustered Minho quickly nodding and getting up from the table.  
As he did, he saw a middle-aged woman with a baby in her arms briskly walking across the stage to meet her idol, pure happiness on her face. Minho recognized her as the woman who had been talking about her husband’s premature death and how Han’s lyrics helped her cope with his passing. He smiled.  
Minho reasoned there was no point in staying at the venue any longer; he had to get home and make plans for dinner with his friends anyway. He turned around one last time before going through the exit doors, and he swore he made eye contact with Han before he slipped out. He could swear it, but his common sense tried telling him it was a trick of the light.


	7. Goodbye, Now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh my updates are getting more and more scattered oops :))
> 
> This is a rollercoaster of a chapter, and it's probably a bit shorter than I intended it to be, but oh well. I cried writing this.
> 
> Enjoy :)

Of course. Of course the coffee shop had to be the busiest it had ever been right when Minho had a huge term paper due the next day. He guessed that most of the students here were on coffee runs because they’d pulled out their laptops and started working on their _own_ term papers. Lucky bastards. At least _they_ didn’t have to be working their night shift at the same time.   
Minho was going crazy, switching between taking orders to typing stuff out on his own laptop. Even one of his classmates, Yeosang, had tried chatting him up earlier.   
_”Hey man, why aren’t you at home finishing up our project?” Yeosang stared at his laptop with concerned eyes.  
Minho sighed. “I thought I could do it, Yeosang. I really thought I was capable of not procrastinating anymore, but alas, I was wrong.” Minho dramatically touched his forehead. “Now I’ve got to pay the price by working late hours over here while I’m serving all of you lucky bastards.”   
Yeosang lightly chuckled but patted Minho’s shoulder across the counter. “Take it easy there, hyung. I hope you can finish your project soon enough.”_  
There were just about forty minutes left until his shift ended, but he would be staying up too late tonight anyway. He sighed and accepted his fate.   
But his fate had other plans.  
Sungji, in all his glory, walked through the door.  
Minho did a double-take and almost spilled his own coffee he’d made a few minutes ago on his laptop, still reeling from the fact that the boy was actually _here_. He pretended to pay attention to the customer who had just walked up to him, but his eyes kept traveling to the shadowed figure standing towards the back of the shop.  
As soon as Minho finished taking the orders of the two other people in the line, Sungji ran up to the register. “Hey, hyung. Can I take your shift for you?” His voice was small and he stared at the floor while he said it.  
Minho stared at him. At any other moment, he would think that this was cute. But he was tired, stressed out, and very, very surprised. “First of all, hi, I haven’t seen you in a while,” Minho stated, and, judging by the slight flinch of Sungji’s eyes, the remark came out a bit colder than he’d wanted. “Second of all, _what_?” Minho wasn’t about to just let Sungji take his place; he was sure the latter had other things to do.   
But Sungji didn’t back down. “It’s a late hour, hyung, and I know you have something you need to finish up,” he said, nodding at the laptop behind the register while dragging his foot back and forth across the tiled floor. “I have some time to spare and I want to help you.”  
Minho stared at him. “You know, you can’t just walk around giving out favors like that. First the albums, and now this? Hell, you even offered me _cheesecake_! What’s all this about?” Minho tried to keep his voice down, but his tone was still gruff, marked with fatigue and stress.   
To his credit, Sungji looked Minho straight in the eye and managed to keep his voice level. “Because, hyung, I want to. Because I care for you and I don’t want you compromising your grades and possibly your health for one night shift. Don’t people have a right to be concerned for each other?”  
Minho opened his mouth to protest, but Sungji held up a hand. “We can debate this later. But I’m getting behind that counter right now and taking orders. Trust me, I know how to make coffee too -- my job certainly demands it.” Sungji stilled for a minute and his eyes slightly widened, realizing what he’d revealed.   
Minho looked at Sungji curiously. “Your job? Sungji, up until now, I’ve had no idea what you do for a living. Why haven’t you told me?”  
“I-it’s really nothing, hyung,” he said hastily, already slipping behind the counter and familiarizing himself with the setup. “It’s just a regular job. You know, most jobs do require expertise in coffee-making,” he said lightly.   
Minho narrowed his eyes but decided to drop the matter, turning his attention to his computer screen. They clearly had a lot to talk about, but his French Revolution Analysis wasn’t going to write itself. 

Minho glanced at Sungji every now and then, but after a few minutes, he figured he didn’t even need to.  
And yet, for some _totally_ unexplainable reason, he still did.   
He tried to fight with himself, convinced that what Sungji was doing was just a matter of basic human concern. And yet, when he stared at how diligently Sungji was keeping up with everything, how quickly he was fixing his mistakes and moving on as if nothing happened, he couldn’t help but feel something warm in his chest.   
It had been a while since even a friend, much less a barely-acquaintance, had cared for him this much.   
Minho sighed, slapping himself to regain focus. First Sungji, and then Han. He couldn’t quite explain it, but for some reason, both of them had a similar effect on him. He knew, deep down, that it was wrong for a fan to like his idol, but Sungji, on the other hand…  
He filed it in the back of his head. There were just about twenty minutes till closing time, and if he completed some focused work, he could probably be done.   
So Minho’s eyes never left the computer screen. But what he wasn’t aware of was Sungji staring at him in between every customer, something resembling _longing_ in his eyes.

“Done,” Minho breathed. He checked the time on his phone -- two minutes to the end of his shift. Yeji was probably in the back putting on her uniform.   
Since traffic had leveled off in the last five minutes, Sungji looked down at Minho and smiled. “I’m glad, hyung.”  
Minho ruffled his own hair and looked at Sungji pointedly. “How about we sit down at our usual table and have a _chat_.” He didn’t say it too menacingly, but a look akin to slight fear danced around in Sungji’s eyes anyway.   
A minute later, the two were sitting across from each other.   
“I don’t want to beat around the bush, so I’ll go straight to it. Sungji, what is going on? What is your deal? I’ve been accepting your niceties for this long because I think you’re a good person. I still do. But the fact that I know next to nothing about you bothers me.”  
Sungji looked at him with heavy eyes. “I’m sorry hyung, but I can’t. It goes against what I do.”  
Minho was at his breaking point. He was tired and frustrated, and he really didn’t want to take it out on Sungji, but he couldn’t control himself.  
“To hell with that! I wouldn’t care about all this if you were a complete stranger, but ever since we’ve met, you’ve been doing me favors that _I didn’t even ask for_. It’s not fair to me, and it’s not fair to you either if you think about it. Why don’t I know anything about you except for the fact that your name is Sungji and you’re really cute sometimes?” Minho knew what he’d just said, but he’d address it later. He was on a roll. “I want to know more about you, and not just because you’ve been doing me favors. I want to know who you are behind this huge _literal_ mask you’ve put yourself behind. I want to know the real you, no matter how horrible you might be. I wouldn’t care if you looked like a goddamn pig behind that mask and only your eyes were cute. So please, Sungji.” Minho’s tone had reduced from one of anger to one where he was just begging.   
Maybe it was Minho’s imagination, but the light in Sungji’s eyes seemed to drastically change and he was breathing heavily. It was almost as if he was...trying to come to terms with something. “Minho, the only thing I want to do is protect you. And if you found out who I was, if we were _seen_ together, I couldn’t do that anymore. I’m sorry,” he whispered, getting up from the table.   
Minho shook his head, his own vision turning blurry. He didn’t realize how much pent-up emotion he had and it was threatening to burst out like a dam any second. “Sungji! You can’t just do that to me, you can’t just leave me…” His voice failed him, but he reached out and gripped his hand, trying to stop him.   
“You look positively lovely today, Minho, did anyone tell you that? You look positively lovely every single day. And I’m a fool for not staying with you, but I want you to be safe and happy.”  
Minho was reeling. The words sounded eerily similar to what Han had said to him just days before. When had his life become like this?  
Sungji removed his hand from Minho’s and gave him a soft smile. By now, the few people still sitting in the cafe had noticed what was going on and watching with immense pity in their eyes and expressions. It only made Minho want to cry more.   
“Wait,” Minho called out one more time. He sniffed. “Is it because of something I said earlier? Sungji, I’m so sorry for snapping at you like that, I-I had no right. I can’t force you to share things about yourself if you’re not comfortable. This is all my fault.”  
Sungji shook his head lightly. “No, it’s not because of that. You’re completely correct, and I wish I had the ability to follow what you said. But I-Minho, I just can’t do it.”  
“It’s alright. I’m not worth it.”  
Sungji opened his mouth to say something more but apparently thought better of it, closing his mouth and calming his expression (at least his eyes). He wiped any wetness in his eyes away and nodded at Minho. “You’re not worthless. But this is goodbye. It was fun while it lasted, Minho, but from now on, I’m a stranger that you never knew.”  
Sungji had never walked out of a building so fast, but it was because he knew the facade he had just put up was threatening to shatter at any moment now. Hot tears began flowing down his face in profusion, a stark contrast to the ice-cold weather outside. He took down his mask for a split second to wipe at his runny nose and collect himself before inevitably pulling it back on. The last thing he wanted to attract was attention.   
And Minho? He was still sitting in the same position, hand outstretched in the air towards a nonexistent Sungji. His expression was blank, completely wiped clean of anything.   
He vaguely registered Yeji running up to him from the staff room and shaking him, asking him what had happened, but the words just couldn’t make it past his throat. He felt hollow, as if Sungji had taken his life and soul with him.


	8. Perpetually In Your Orbit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...Sorry about the last chapter guys. :'D  
> I feel like I'm progressively running out of ideas haha hope this isn't too shabby...  
> And lastly, hank you, everyone, for your comments/kudos; they really make my day :)  
> Enjoy the (mostly filler) chapter!

Ice-cream and ramen never nourished a ghost before, but they were working for the time being.  
Minho was almost unrecognizable now. He had so many regrets about the things he’d done a couple of days ago, but the biggest was that he’d somehow made Sungji leave his life.  
Minho knew he couldn’t sulk forever, that he would have to pick himself up at some point, but he allowed himself to live a few days soulless before making that extremely difficult move.  
_Looks like what everyone says is right,_ Minho thought bitterly. _You’ll never know what you’re missing until it’s gone_.  
For the last few days, Minho had been listless at Uni and at the dance studio. His moves were still sharp and effortless thanks to years of practice and muscle memory, however, his eyes and face had no emotion. Felix and Hyunjin constantly shared looks in the mirror, obviously worried, but too afraid to bring it up. They knew their Minho hyung was strong and would come back from this, but that was all the more reason to worry when he became a ghost.  
As of now, there was nothing Minho could do except wait for the pain to fade away a little. But he didn’t know how he would face his shifts at the coffee shop anymore.  
And then there was Han. Minho obviously hadn’t seen him since the day of the fan meeting, but these days...Minho didn’t know if he had been imagining it, but he seemed a little off as well. He hid it with a bright smile, but yesterday’s live had even fans voicing their concern in online chat groups.

_Yesterday_  
_Minho flipped over in his bed, bleary-eyed, as he watched the screen come alive with a picture of Han.  
“Hello, everyone, and good morning or good night depending on where you’re tuning in from. I just wanted to chat today, see how everyone’s doing.” Minho squinted at the screen.  
Sure, Han’s voice was as bright as always, but it seemed a little strained. There were bags underneath his eyes, not unlike Minho’s, and his eyes were a bit red and swollen, almost as if he’d been crying often.  
Minho sighed. Here he was worried about his own life, but he truly couldn’t imagine what trials and tribulations a young idol like Han went through every single day of his life. Maybe his schedule was a bit hectic or something.  
Han then invited his viewers to comment on their questions or whatever was going on in their life so he could possibly give them advice or just comfort them. It was such a selfless thing to do, even though he was clearly suffering.  
Minho really did feel bad about putting his question in, seeing as that Han had much better things to do. But his fingers were already typing something out before his brain could object._

**Lino98: Han-ssi, I had a really close friend and really liked them, but they would never tell me about their personal life. I got angry but they said it wasn’t my fault and we shouldn’t be hanging out anyway and just...left.**

_Han’s eyes continued scanning the comments that were coming in, but most of them were emojis or constant “I love you”s from fans. Minho’s comment was pretty big in comparison, so Han started reading it out loud since it was clearly an actual happening.  
“Han-ssi I had a really close friend…”  
And this might’ve been Minho’s imagination again, but he could see Han’s eyes widening with every additional word that he read. Suddenly Han didn’t look so vibrant, he just looked...tired.  
“Wow, this is a very, uh, interesting situation,” Han started, since he obviously couldn’t get out of commenting on the statement now. Minho slapped himself, seeing the undue distress he’d caused Han. But he kept his eyes glued to the screen.  
“I would say that this...development might not be permanent. Maybe this person is just trying to protect you by hiding their identity, however, that might be. Maybe they-” Han gulped. “ar-aren’t meant to be with y-you.” Han took a deep breath, trying to steady himself. “I’m sorry everyone, it’s been a pretty long week.  
The comments were now filled with signs of worry and heart emojis. Han smiled a little at that.  
“Well, I think my time’s up. I-I’ll get going now, thank you, everyone,” he sniffed. He smiled, but even as he cut off the camera, Minho thought he could see his eyes pooling up. _  
Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid, _Minho chastised himself. He didn’t understand why Han had reacted like that, but it was clearly a personal topic for him as well.  
Minho crushed his face into his pillow and released a guttural groan, wondering why everything good in his life was suddenly running away. _

Present

Minho knew he had to pick himself up and drag his ass to college classes right now, but he was content with just staring at the ceiling.  
_So what if I fail all my classes,_ he absentmindedly thought to himself. _It’ll just lower the number of things in my life that I can mess up. Then I can audition for a company and maybe even debut as an idol. It’s easy._ Even as Minho thought this, he knew that becoming an idol was taxing both physically and mentally. He was content with just a little coffee shop.  
He decided to quit his thinking and get up to sit in his Combinatorics lecture. His professor was already not amused with him.  
-  
_Han’s Point of View_  
Chris looked up from his laptop to see a very distraught boy sitting in front of him. It was clear that he hadn’t been listening to anything he’d had to say.  
“Jisung-ah,” Chris sighed. “You need to get your head in the game; your comeback is scheduled to be in less than two months. Please work with me on this.”  
Jisung lifted his head and pouted. His eyes were still lined with red from the past few days. “Chan hyung, I’m just so tired. So tired of all of this, of everything, of all my restrictions…”  
Chris sighed and lowered his shoulders. He didn’t have a clue of what Jisung must actually be going through, but he was pretty good at empathizing with people’s feelings. “Is this about that boy, Minho? Jisung, all of us have been telling you to drop it. Changbin even tried to lowkey manipulate Minho-”  
Jisung’s head shot up and his eyes narrowed. “He did _what_?”  
Chris bit his tongue and shook his head. “Doesn’t matter. You get the point. You need to stay away from him, Jisung. It’s for your own good.”  
“But Chan hyung...he doesn’t even know who I _am_. In front of him, I’m just Sungji, a normal guy who can’t take off his mask due to his chronic illness. What’s so wrong about spending time with him?” Jisung asked, even though he knew the answer he’d get as he had gotten it a million times before.  
Chris tried not to roll his eyes to the back of his skull. “Jisung, we’ve gone over this multiple times. That’s so selfish, you can’t build a relationship if you can’t even tell Minho who you _are_.”  
Jisung flinched. This was exactly what Minho had been angry about, and he’d been exactly right. There was no way he could build a relationship if there wasn’t even any basic trust between them.  
“I know, hyung,” Jisung said softly. “But I couldn’t resist seeing him one more time after the…”  
“After the fan meeting thing, right?” Chris reached out to grab Jisung’s hand. “When I saw him come up from the side of the stage, I panicked too. Luckily, you were able to manage the situation after only a few seconds of hesitation, right?”  
Jisung slowly nodded his head, but he’d never disclosed the details of his very short conversation as Han with Minho to anyone. He wanted just those few moments with those soulful black eyes and beautiful smiles to himself. Just once.  
“But Jisung,” Chris said with a hint of seriousness entering his voice. “Your fans have noticed something is off with you. You know that the risks of sasaeng behavior increase if that happens, right? Heck, you almost _cried_ on camera yesterday.”  
Jisung recalled it. He’d read a comment so specific to what had happened with him only a few days before and broken down. He didn’t know he had any tears left in him because he’d been bawling his eyes out the second he’d left Minho that day.  
Gosh, how could one man make him feel so helpless and powerful at the same time? In all his twenty years, there was not a place he’d rather be than that coffee shop.  
“Um, yeah. You know about how I...left Minho a few days ago, right?” Jisung struggled to maintain a level voice; his emotional stability was already on thin ice. “I saw a comment very specific to that entire situation when I was live. I just...couldn't go on.”  
As much as Chris was Jisung’s primary producer and sorta manager, he was also his friend and he understood his emotions. “Jisung-ah. It’s alright, we’re all human. We break down sometimes, and none of us are perfect. And if you weren’t an idol, I would be the first one to set you up with Minho. But this is your reality, Jisung. You’re living your dream. Please, for the sake of yourself, us, and your fans, please try to get it together.”  
Chris’s words were genuine, and he knew he had to listen to them.  
But lately, Jisung had been feeling a defiant spark against the system. He badly wanted one thing for himself, away from all the cameras, away from everyone but those people he was closest to.  
“Oh!” Chris’s voice brought Jisung out of his reverie. “The internship kids are here for their session. Try to be good, will you?”  
Jisung had the energy to nod and smile, so Chris took this as a good sign and got up to open the door.  
Jisung could hear Seungmin and Jeongin’s voices from outside the door as they happily chatted Chris up. The three of them, including Changbin, had gotten quite close with each other.  
As the interns entered the room, Jisung put on his best smile to greet them.  
He locked away the problems with his heart for now, but he was beginning to feel something that he wasn’t sure he could calm down.  
-  
Felix eyed Minho. He was staring at his reflection in the mirror, doing the same routine over and over again until he could perfect it. His eyes were laser-focused, his moves quick and sharp, and his mind alert. But it was borderline obsession, and that was something Felix couldn’t allow.  
“Hyung, the move looks great. It really does. Could you take a break and come here?” Felix tried for the third time in five minutes.  
Minho paid him no attention. His eyes bored into the ones reflected back at him in the glass, occasionally crawling over his body to make sure nothing was even an inch off.  
Felix shook his head and ran to him, grabbing his arm in the middle of a step. “Hyung. You need to stop this. The dance looks perfect, it’s perfect. You’re guaranteed to get an A tomorrow. _Please_ take a break.”  
Minho stared at Felix, taking in his extremely concerned expression and widened eyes. He knew that he was right, of course, but stopping his flow would mean having too much free time to think about things...not worth thinking about.  
Felix’s face relaxed a little because at least Minho had stopped dancing. He handed him the cellphone in his hand, motioning for him to talk.  
Minho frowned and cleared his throat. “Hello?”  
“Minho. Hey,” a tinny voice said from the phone. “Man, I need to talk to you.”  
Minho sat down, putting a towel over his sweaty forehead. “Yeah, Changbin. What is it about?”  
Minho could hear Changbin taking a deep breath from the other end of the line. “Well, the company wanted to reach out to you, and I suppose I’m the closest person who could. They want you to tutor the beginner trainees in dance.  
“They’re really very attentive, and the moves aren’t anything super advanced, so I don’t think there should be a problem. It’s just that you have quite a bit of experience, and the company thinks the trainees need a break from the same dance instructors they see every day.”  
Minho sighed, thinking the opportunity over. This would look really amazing on his résumé and give him an upper hand when he applied to positions, but he would also be working at Quokka Entertainment.  
_Wait, wait, wait,_ the voice inside his head said, startled. _Why is there a but? Isn’t this what you want? If we don’t get too ahead of ourselves, you could even have the chance to meet Han, one-on-one! Even if you don’t, there’s still nothing bad about a couple of hours spent teaching trainees to dance._  
Minho considered the voice. It was telling the truth, so why was he so uneasy about going to Quokka?  
He felt that deep down, he knew the answer, he knew about the gnawing suspicion that had been filling him up recently, but he chose to ignore it for his own sake.  
“Yeah, Changbin, that actually sounds great!” _And it’s a way to get my mind off of Sungji._ “When can I start?”  
Changbin softly cheered. “Awesome! I think it would be great for you to start tomorrow evening if that’s alright. Sorry that this is such short notice, but if that doesn’t work, we can always reschedule!”  
Minho ran through his schedule. He was definitely free tomorrow evening, but he had his coffee shop shift not soon afterward. Dinner would be a squeeze, but manageable.  
“I can do tomorrow evening as long as it doesn’t go past 7:30.”  
“Alright, that would mean you come at...5 PM. Sounds good?”  
“Yep!”  
“Cool, just come to the company’s front desk and tell them who you are, and they’ll show you where to go. Thanks again, man.” The line cut.  
Felix looked up at Minho and whistled. “You’re getting _offered_ gigs? As a dancer? Hyung, you’re truly the ace this industry needs. Why don’t you become a trainee?”  
Minho laughed and shook his head. “Trust me, I’ve considered. I don’t think it's for me, you know? Unless I had a group of friends who were by my side.” He smiled. “Maybe in an alternate universe.”  
Felix muttered a tiny “yeah”, but his eyes were wide on Minho. When Minho returned the stare with a question in his eyes, Felix spoke. “It’s just that I haven’t seen you laugh, much less smile during the last three days at all, hyung. It was kind of eerie. But I’m so glad it’s back.” Felix smiled a smile so big and white that it put the sun to shame.  
Minho couldn’t help the bubble of laughter escaping from his throat and ruffled Felix’s hair.  
He was going to be alright.  
-  
Minho took a deep breath at the company entrance, a cloud forming on the glass door. “Quokka Entertainment” was emblazoned in white on it, with the cute logo right next to the letters.  
A welcome blast of warmth greeted him as he stepped inside, and he walked up to the receptionist, hands fidgeting on his backpack straps.  
“Uh, hello. My name is Minho, and I’m here to give dance lessons?”  
The receptionist’s face instantly lit up. “This way,” he said, starting down a wide hallway.  
The rooms in the building were made almost entirely of glass, so it was possible to see into them. Minho saw one girl taking vocal lessons with a private coach, a boy practicing his rap in front of a mic, and finally, a studio with floor to ceiling mirrors. A group of students was already sitting inside.  
The receptionist gestured to that room and nodded at Minho, who thanked him and opened the door.  
As he looked around to gain his bearings before announcing his arrival, he saw a figure talking to the kids. His back was to him. Minho raised an eyebrow at the starstruck gazes some of the students had. He slung his backpack on one arm.  
“Hi, I’m Minho, here for dance lessons.” He waved to the kids and the figure as it turned around.  
The face, (or lack thereof, except for the eyes) was completely unexpected, yet so familiar. Both his and Minho’s eyes widened at the same time, and Minho’s bag dropped to the floor.  
_”Sungji?”_


	9. I Want This

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW/ slightly referenced homophobia
> 
> Hey yall!!!!!  
> Man, I'm so sorry I took a huge gap between this chapter and the last chapter -- life happened, and I've barely had any time to write.  
> I know this chapter is low-quality since I typed it in a rush, but I still hope you enjoy it. Thank you :)

_Han’s POV_  
He felt like all the air had left his body and elated at the same time. Was that even possible?  
The man standing in front of him was Minho, wholly Minho, a guy who he’d fallen for as two different people. He was still a bit shocked that Minho hadn’t noticed something was fishy, but he was too much of a coward to bring it up.   
How many aliases did he have now? He was Han to the world. He was Sungji to Minho. And he was Jisung. He felt that each name owned a part of him, each world separate from the other. He was never truly whole.  
Jisung knew he had to reply to Minho, who’d been dumbly standing there, bag at his feet, for at least ten seconds. He heard the whispers of the kids behind him, asking each other who “Sungji” was. He could see Minho’s face pale under the bright lights of the studio.   
And he watched as Minho muttered a quick excuse to go to the bathroom and dash out the door.

 _Minho’s POV_  
He had been wrong, alright. So wrong.  
He thought his feelings were out of the way, but the second he saw Sungji’s voice, his emotions from the past week came crashing down on him like rogue waves.  
He leaned against the sink to steady himself, gazing at his face in the bathroom mirror. What was Sungji doing in this building? Why hadn’t he run away? Was this where he worked? Or was he…?  
 _No,_ Minho thought to himself. _Absolutely not._ He willed the thought out of his mind before it could take over him.  
Minho wasn’t a fool. He was much more perceptive than your average human, and his senses had been telling him the same thing for months now. He just couldn’t, _wouldn’t_ come to terms with it. It would be wrong in so many ways. He would be disgusted by himself. Because who, except for crazy fans like sasaengs, fell in love with their own _idol_?  
Minho heard footsteps approaching the bathroom. Shit. He tried to duck into a stall, but Sungji’s face popped out before he could take more than two steps.  
“Minho hyung? Are you doing okay here?”  
“Me? Uh, yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” Minho laughed nervously, the events of last week replaying in his mind perpetually.   
Sungji hesitated for a little bit and then stepped fully into the bathroom. “Hey.”  
“Hey,” Minho said back lamely.  
Minho stared at himself in the mirror while Sungji scratched his neck, the rest obscured by his black hood.  
Sungji cleared his throat. “So, uh…”  
“Sungji, come over here.” Minho was done dancing around the truth. He knew, but he wanted to hear it from him.   
Sungji, eyes downcast, shuffled over to Minho. The latter lifted his hand up to Sungji’s cheek, the part covered with the mask and stared into his eyes. “Could you take off your mask?”  
Minho could see the hesitation in Sungji’s eyes, so he asked again, this time whispering a small “please” right after.   
Sungji took a deep breath and stepped back, pulling the mask and hoodie off simultaneously. Locks of purple hair, now a bit faded, burst out. And Minho could now see Sungji’s shy but hopeful face on display.  
No, _Han Jisung’s_ face.   
And everything that Minho hadn’t addressed before, all his doubts and fears, resurfaced at that moment.   
_Shit,_ he thought, his heart beating erratically. _Shit, shit, shit._ He took two steps back and ran his hand through his dark brown hair. He wasn’t supposed to do this, but he had. And judging by the look in Sung- _Jisung’s_ eyes, the feeling was mutual.   
“Hyung,” he whispered. He stepped forward so he was practically chest to chest with Minho again.   
Some rational part in the back of Minho’s brain yelled at him to stop, tried to convince him that this was wrong, but all his senses were so intoxicated by Jisung at the moment that he couldn’t hear anything. _Jisung, Jisung, Jisung._ This was the only word that mattered right now. So Minho came closer, and closer, until their noses touched and their lips were less than an inch apart.   
There was just a second of hesitation before both of them moved forward to close the gap. And Minho couldn’t comprehend how complete he felt at that moment.   
But as soon as he’d backed Jisung against the wall, a student’s voice brought him back to Earth.   
“Han-sunbaenim, are you there? Everyone is getting worried about you and Minho-ssi.”   
The two burst apart, wide-eyed and red-faced, whipping around to the voice. The entrance of the bathroom was a hallway that turned left into the stall and sink area at the end, so Minho and Jisung were hidden from sight, thankfully.   
Jisung was able to come back to his senses in time to answer the student. “Yes, we’re coming!” But as he spoke those words, Minho couldn’t help but stare, trying to commit the picture of Jisung to memory. His red lips and cheeks that were reminiscent of a quokka, his messy purple hair, and his still slightly glazed-over expression. Everything in Minho wanted to close the gap again and pin Jisung to the wall again, but he kept his emotions in check. As good as it had felt, he’d messed up, and he could not, _would_ not, let it happen again. He liked Jisung too much to put him through that.

Minho clapped his hands in the air. “Alright, that’s a wrap for today, everyone! Great work, especially you, Soo-Ah.” Soo-Ah beamed at Minho’s praise.   
Minho called everyone to huddle around so he could deliver some parting words, completely aware of the eyes boring into him from across the room.   
Okay, so maybe it was wrong to avoid Jisung’s smiles and waves when they were practicing, even when he’d made it obvious as hell. And it was probably a jerk move to do that right after they’d kissed. But Minho really, really had to get this sorted out in his head first. 

As Minho walked to the other end of the room to pick up his bag, Jisung took his opportunity.   
“Hyung.” He looked extremely pissed, but more hurt than anything. “Did I do something wrong? Was that not what you wanted?” His eyes were so full of the fear that he’d misjudged, that Minho didn’t feel the same way, that Minho almost broke down right there and then to apologize. Almost.   
Minho looked Jisung in the eye, lowering his voice so it wouldn’t carry across the room. “Does it really matter what I want, Jisung? Look at your position. You’re an _idol_. You have millions of followers across the world. Whether you like it or not, you’re not a normal person.” Shit, that had come out wrong.   
Jisung looked even more hurt now. “What do you mean, I’m not a normal person? Am I not allowed to make my own choices?”  
Minho sighed. “This isn’t about that, Jisung. Don’t you get it?” He really didn’t want to have to say this. “You’re a boy. I’m a boy. It would be difficult, but maybe doable, if we were both normal-” Jisung cringed, “- _non-famous_ people.” He couldn’t afford to hurt his feelings again. “But look at our position, Jisung-ah. If we continue this... “ He trailed off. “I don’t want a fling, Jisung. I want something real.”  
“We can have something real!” Jisung insisted, saying it a little too loud. He smiled sheepishly at the heads that turned their way. “I mean, we can have something really good by the end of this year! These kids are extremely talented,” Jisung half-yelled, emphasizing the word “extremely”. The heads grinned a little and turned away.   
“I’m sorry Jisung, I really have to go now. My shift starts soon.”   
Jisung grabbed Minho’s sleeve, halting him. “At least…” he cleared his throat. “At least give me your phone number.”  
 _Oh, how the tables have turned,_ Minho thought both fondly and bitterly. Against his better judgment, however, he let Jisung take his phone and type in his number to send a “Hello, Ji (heart emoji)” text to himself. How Minho managed to keep a straight face and ignore his thumping heart, he had no idea.   
Pleased with his work, Jisung handed Minho his phone back and nodded. “See you later?”  
Minho smiled tightly and didn’t say anything. False promises were just something he would never stand by.   
He turned and exited the Quokka Entertainment building. It had been his first time there, and if he could help it, it would be his last.   
-  
 _Jisung’s POV_  
Jisung hurried down to the table at the far end of the restaurant, mask and hoodie pulled up. He spied two other figures sitting in their seats already and grinned, thankful that he had such good friends.  
As soon as he caught their eyes, however, he felt a queasy pit of doubt growing in his stomach, drowning out all the gratitude he’d felt before. Now he just felt apprehensive.   
He slid into the booth and greeted both of the figures.   
“Hello, Chris hyung, Changbin hyung. Thanks for agreeing to meet here on such short notice.” He felt a little uncomfortable, being the only one sitting there with a mask, but they all knew it was necessary. He was too well known.   
Chris was the first to talk after Jisung had settled in. “It’s Chan out here. Chris is a name that could draw attention.” Jisung quickly nodded.   
Chan cut straight to the chase, clearly upset at the loss of his precious studio time. But Jisung knew deep down he’d do anything for him. “Now, if you will, Jisung, _please_ tell us the subject of this meeting at such a crowded and public place.” Although his words seemed cold, his tone was laced with worry and love for his best friend, and Jisung felt a little better about the situation. Chan and Changbin always knew what to do.   
Jisung cleared his throat. “Well, it’s about...it’s about Minho.”  
Chan looked at Jisung and raised an eyebrow. “I thought I told you to drop it.”  
“And I did try!” Jisung pleaded. “Trust me! But...by then, I’d already fallen too far, hyung.” He said the last part in a whisper.   
Changbin spoke up. “How far have you fallen. How far would you be willing to take this?”  
“Changbin, don’t encourage him. You know he can’t have this.” Jisung lowered his head at Chan’s words.  
But Changbin still refused to back off. “Is it fair, Chan hyung? Is it fair that Jisung doesn’t get to have a normal life like the rest of us with meeting new people, falling in love, and dating?”  
Chan adopted a more conciliatory tone. “I know, Changbin, but look at the position he’s in right now. Forgetting the fact that he’s an idol, and any dating rumors would cause controversy...you realize what risk this is, right? Especially when a lot of the public doesn’t quite approve of relationships of that nature yet.”  
Jisung knew exactly what he was talking about, the fact that both he and Minho were very much boys. But Jisung could swear that it felt the same as when he’d had crushes on girls in the past, and he knew his feelings were completely valid. It was a shame that the public didn’t agree.  
“Hyung, just try to give him a chance. If the public or the fans start suspecting anything, anything at all, it can be dropped.”  
“Changbin...relationships aren’t easy to just “drop”. If he drops it right now, it would cause a lot less sorrow on both ends than if he were to drop it later.”  
Jisung had had enough. “Could the both of you just stop talking about me in the third person? I’m my own person. I want to make my own decisions. Chan hyung, Changbin hyung, I appreciate both of your inputs, but I need to talk now.”  
Chan and Changbin realized what they had been doing and shifted around guiltily, murmuring apologies to their friend. Jisung nodded and began.

As Jisung explained, Chan filled in some of the gaps for Changbin’s benefit, since he’d been out of the loop for most of what had happened.   
“Now, I don’t know what happened after that day you chatted with me, Jisung,” Chan told him. Both of them looked at him expectantly.   
Jisung stilled, reddening underneath his mask from what had happened at the Quokka Entertainment building. Thank god his hyungs couldn’t see his face right now.   
He took a deep breath. “Right. So, he came to the studio to teach a dance routine to the trainees, and...I happened to be in the same room. I looked like Sungji, so I was so surprised when he didn’t comment on my being at the Quokka building. I _know_ he knew by then.” He chuckled a little. “As soon as I turned around, he dropped his bag and made a beeline for the bathroom. I followed.” Chan raised his eyebrows a little at that, but Jisung continued. “And...he-he asked me to take off my mask and hood. And I did. And...then...we k-kissed,” Jisung whispered, covering his eyes with his hands.   
He heard Chan suck in a sharp breath. Changbin was the one to ask for more. “Did anything else happen?”  
“I-yeah. He kinda...ditched me?” Jisung cringed hard at the memory. “He said that he was looking for something long-term and serious, and...the fact that I was an idol would hinder all of those aspects.”  
Changbin sighed. “I got to give it to him, this Minho is a very smart man.”  
Jisung smiled sourly. “I managed to get his phone number out of him, but I’m worried he gave it to me out of pity. I sent him a couple of texts, and all I got was a one-word response.” And right at that moment, his situation, everything about Minho, and his emotions got the better of him. Tears filled his eyes.  
Changbin saw and reached out to grab Jisung’s hand. “Hey, hey, hey, don’t cry. Please don’t cry, Jisung, we’re both here for you, and we’ll get through this together.” Jisung looked at Changbin and smiled, hoping that it would show in his eyes.  
After having been silent for so long, Chan spoke up again. “Jisung...it seems to me that Minho has known who you are for a very long time. He probably just didn’t want to accept it, because it’s pretty taboo for a fan to fall in love with their idol, right? It shows that Minho is a man of high moral standards.  
“He also held off on saying anything until you felt comfortable to reveal yourself to him. He’s obviously a very caring and good guy.”  
This only made Jisung’s tears thicken. “Hyung, that’s not helping.”  
Chan wrung his hands. “I know it’s not, Han-ah. But I think you’re right -- you should be the one deciding what you want. I know you Jisung, and I know the way you look when you talk about him. It’s literally like you want to marry him. But you need to promise me one thing.”  
“Name it,” Jisung said fiercely. He’d won the approval of Chan and probably Changbin as well; it was more than enough to elate him.   
But Chan wasn’t playing around. He looked Jisung straight in the eye. “If either of you doesn’t want to give your 100% to this, if we find rumors about you circulating amongst netizens, or if--god forbid--someone actually finds out about this, you have to break it off immediately. I know you want this, Sung, but don’t expect it to work. I’m sorry, but I sure don’t.”  
Changbin voiced his agreement to the deal.  
Jisung looked at the both of them and took a deep breath. He could do this. He _would_ do this. And he would create his own destiny while he was at it.  
“I promise.”


	10. This Will Work. Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um hi!  
> It's been a while, hasn't it :')  
> I'm sorry that this update is not as long as it should be and...that it took so long to get here!  
> Thank you to all my lovely readers always.
> 
> Hope you enjoy the (shorter) chapter :)

_Jisung’s POV_

Jisung bit his lip, contemplating how he should phrase this.  
In his hands, his phone was lit up with an empty chat with Minho. His thumbs couldn’t decide what to type with the war going on in his head right now.  
_Am I coming off as too strong? No, he willingly gave me his number. That means something._ Jisung raised his eyebrow in thought. So...a basic “Hi hyung, what’s up?”  
He shook his head to himself. _No, that gives him the opportunity to ignore the text forever. How about…_ He typed something else out on his phone and sent it before he could change his mind.  
Jisung locked his phone and threw it across the room, willing it to land on the bed. Unfortunately, it slid across it and fell to the floor on the other side.  
His schedule today was pretty slow since it had only been a couple of months after his last comeback. He would probably drag himself to the gym in an hour or so, just to maintain his physique, but he was really, _really,_ dying for a cup of coffee right now.  
But coffee brought nostalgic and unhappy thoughts into his head, so he settled for green tea instead.  
As he sat in his kitchen and contemplated everything from his career to the fate of the universe, his phone screen lit up from the other side of the bed.

 **Minho hyungie: ok**  
-  
_Minho’s POV_  
It had taken longer than he cared to admit to actually answer that one simple text. He thought it over several times, switching back and forth between different answers like a seesaw with more than two ends.  
Jisung had sent a simple text:  
**Jisung(ie): Hey hyung, you wanna meet up at the coffee shop tonight? 6:45? I have something to say.**  
Minho couldn’t deny that his heart had fluttered a little when he saw that first text from Jisung, but he tried to suppress it as best he could. He couldn’t forget who they were again.  
But in the battle between his head and his heart, his heart had won out, and he’d typed two letters in response to Jisung’s hopeful text. Good enough. He sighed, praying that his self-control was going to take his side tonight.  
After sending the text, Minho simply turned off his phone and continued working on his laptop in front of him. He didn’t overthink texts once he’d sent them, because, well, there was no point.

Minho had recently developed an interest in computers, and he was seriously considering adding computer science as a major to his degree now. If anything, it would help him when technology became even more widespread in the future. The programming language he was learning right now was C#, although he figured he should probably start learning Ruby on Rails so he could make applications more efficient. After a while of sitting down and working on a computer, however, he tended to get antsy. That’s where dance came in -- it was his refuge from the outside world and everyone in it. He really loved dance, but career stability and financial implications always came back to haunt him. Even though his parents were fully supportive of his desire to create a career in dance, he still wanted a backup plan. Computing was the next best thing.  
Minho knew, of course, that he could always go audition at an entertainment company such as Quokka, but not knowing about his career stability was what held him back. Even if he managed to make it to debut, a feat in its own, there was absolutely no guarantee he would be successful.  
But another big reason he never wanted to become an idol was exactly what he’d told Jisung off for -- his life becoming public for good.  
-  
_Jisung’s POV_

Yes, Jisung was annoyed. Who wouldn’t be?  
He’d gone to the gym, come back, showered, and gotten dressed. He’d been laying on his bed for 30 minutes playing Breath of the Wild on his Switch, but the loud beeping of the ringtone he’d set for his manager disturbed his peaceful exploration in Hyrule. Sighing, he paused the game and answered.  
“Han-ah. This is urgent. We need you to come to the CEO’s office at once.”  
Jisung was stunned. He quickly sat up and tried to think. The CEO never called meetings to his office unless it was something very important. The leniency was one of the reasons he’d chosen to audition for Quokka, and also the reason why he’d had to work his ass off to debut solo.  
Jisung jumped off his bed and quickly exchanged his joggers for jeans. He made his way to his dorm door, remembering to grab his phone at the last second. He checked his watch; 5:30 PM. Hopefully, this meeting wouldn’t take too long.

Jisung inched through the door of the CEO’s office, where he sat behind a desk. He looked up and gave Jisung a smile as soon as he saw him, gesturing at a seat in front of the desk.  
“Welcome, Jisung-ah, it’s always good to see you.” The CEO smiled that wide reporter smile that made Jisung more than a little uncomfortable.  
“I’ll get straight to the point. Jisung, have you ever been in love? Or even had a crush?”  
Jisung’s eyes widened at the sudden unexpected question, but his first reflex was to shake his head no. So he went with that.  
Of course, that was a lie, at least for the second one; Jisung had been a hopeless romantic since day one. But he couldn’t afford anyone guessing his sexuality. Not even the company’s CEO. He felt like a fraud.  
The CEO didn’t notice the battle in his eyes, however, and nodded curtly. “I didn’t think so. Well, I hope this proposal won’t be too difficult for you, then.”  
Jisung raised his eyebrows. What the hell was he talking about?  
The CEO noticed and chuckled a little, leaning back in his chair. “You’re 18 internationally, am I right? All your fans have been wondering because that’s the age when boys normally want to experiment and have their first major relationship. And as we know in this industry, dating rumors pique the crowd’s interest more. It stirs the waters. Of course, there will be some haters, but you’ll get more attention. I think that’s the push that we need to make it to even more international fame.  
Jisung was reeling. What kind of messed-up logic was this? He hadn’t gotten up here just to have an idol fling; this was his dream. He had known something was up as soon as he saw the CEO’s face.  
The CEO studied Jisung’s reaction. Jisung quickly arranged his face to a neutral state. Hours upon hours of practicing his stage expressions really did help him right now.  
The CEO still saw through some of Jisung’s facade, however. “Jisung, you may not be comfortable with the idea just yet, but just know that this is for your own good. After all, who doesn’t want to experiment a little at your age?” He gave Jisung an extremely exaggerated wink.  
Jisung was a hopeless romantic. He wanted something that had a deeper connection, something that wasn’t just surface-level attraction. He wanted to be completely smitten for someone and them for him. So the idea of a fling, especially this one, just didn’t sit well with him.  
Noticing the CEO watching him once again, Jisung tried to open his mouth to respond, but he was saved by the office door whisking open once again.  
“Sorry I’m late, PD-nim!” A girl with chestnut-brown hair and a t-shirt with shorts came in.  
Jisung recognized her; she was an idol with a company that Quokka worked very closely with. If only he could figure out her name…  
“Miss Lia! Not at all, please sit down.” The CEO gave her the same smile as he had with Jisung. She glanced over at Jisung, apparently recognizing him, and mouthed a “hi” before turning back to the CEO.  
The CEO went over the same things he had with Jisung, replacing his name with hers. The entire time, Jisung stared at the pristine and spotless floor, his scuffed Vans looking out of place. He’d understood by now that Lia, an eighteen-year-old solo act just like him, was the girl that he was meant to “look close” with, and he couldn’t believe how casual the CEO was with all the details. It was like their lives were pawns for the higher-ups to handle.  
Jisung was a good reader of body language; that’s why as soon as the CEO had started talking about the part including “dating” and “career sales”, he noticed right away how Lia’s hands tightened in her lap and her legs crossed beneath the table, even though she still wore that same smile on her face. A sign of tension.  
It angered him to see his fellow idol at mercy to the system as well.  
After the CEO finished, he tried being a little ‘considerate’. “I’ll leave you two here to...bond a little bit.” He winked and smiled greasily. “Try not to enjoy yourselves too much!”  
As soon as he was out of the room, Jisung let out a disgusted sigh and looked over to Lia. She had also given up her act.  
“Hey, I’m Jisung.”  
“I know,” she responded. “But thank you for actually introducing yourself to me. I’m Lia.” She held out her hand and Jisung shook it.  
“I hope we can get along in all this craziness, Lia-ssi,” Jisung said sadly. Lia might’ve thought he was genuinely depressed with this fake dating situation, but Jisung was more depressed with how things could possibly work out with Minho now.  
Minho. Jisung checked his watch; it was nearly 6:20. He knew he’d only been in here with Lia for like two minutes, but he really, _really_ needed to dash. He hoped she would understand.  
“Hey, uh, Lia-ssi. I really have to go right now; I have something urgent at 6:45. Could we talk later? I’ll give you my phone number.”  
Lia looked a bit startled at Jisung’s sudden haste, but she still nodded quietly and handed over her phone.  
What Jisung didn’t hear was her sighing to herself.  
What he didn’t see was how alone Lia felt all the time, a solo idol without any real friends. A solo idol who had no friends in Korea because she’d left them all on the other side of the world. A person who just wanted someone she could connect with deeply.  
As Jisung walked out, he could have sworn that he heard an almost wistful sigh come from the room before the door clicked shut.

_Third Person POV_

“Hyung, hyung, hyung!” Jisung panted, his face full and smiling underneath his mask. Oh, thank _god_ he had a mask.  
Minho was dressed in an oversized sweater that effectively gave him the cutest sweater paws. His collarbones were on display for the entire world to see (and drool over), and a pair of round, metal-rimmed glasses were perched on his nose. He just looked so...elegant. But so much like boyfriend material at the same time.  
Jisung wished, he really wished he could take off his mask, but the place was too crowded. Another day.  
Minho looked up at Jisung and did smile a little, so Jisung took it as a good sign. He practically jumped into the chair and faced Minho.  
“Hyung, I thought about what you said earlier,” he started, cutting straight to the chase. “I really, really have thought it over. I may be only eighteen years old, but I feel very sure about this. I want to do this.” He looked up into Minho’s eyes. “Can we try, hyung?”  
Minho spluttered a little, obviously not expecting this outburst from the get-go. But that was who Jisung was, spontaneous and enthusiastic. A stark contrast from the persona he showed as Han, a calm and collected fellow. The thought made him smile widely.  
But Minho could keep his calm at the most important moments. He looked Han, _Jisung_ , straight in the eyes as well to see if he could detect even a hint of insincerity. But all he saw was a true, innocent, genuine hopefulness. If he said yes, would he be going too fast? Breaking his own promise to himself so soon?  
The truth was, Minho had been affected by this boy so much. It was impossible to think that he could be in his life one moment and then gone the next. He was scared he’d be left behind again.  
Well, that was a long time ago and Minho had healed. But still...  
Minho sighed. “I’m literally risking your career by accepting your offer, and you’re ok with that. You’re an idiot.”  
Jisung shook his head. “This is me putting myself in danger, certainly not you. And heck, I’m still a teen. I get to break the rules sometimes.”  
Minho rolled his eyes. “Alright, alright, go on reminding me about how _old_ I am. I was literally a teenager last year.”  
Jisung stuck out his tongue. “Say whatever you want, grandpa.” His smile was wide and bright, however, a mirror to Minho’s.  
And while Minho was trying to be brave, Jisung was trying to debate the voice in his head. It was attempting to convince him to tell Minho what new scheme his company had come up with for Han to gain popularity, but he brushed it off. How much would it affect their relationship anyway? Keeping a few secrets never hurt anybody.  
And as he walked out with Minho from the cafeteria, he could almost forget the voice still pestering him.  
Almost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not me trying to set up a premise for more plot ;)))))0  
> It's gonna take a while for everything to be resolved, folks! TEEHEE. I just don't want to let this story go!
> 
> But seriously, thank you so much. You guys are amazing.
> 
> <3


	11. It's Not Fair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW/ Referenced Homophobia
> 
> Hello. I have arrived with a long-overdue update. :D  
> This chapter was a wild ride in such a short amount of time, but I really want to get the plot moving along into the good stuff soon :)  
> I was going to write more, but I am a very impatient person. Therefore, I wanted to update as quickly as my blocked mind could do so :)  
> I hope I'll be able to update more often, but I can't make any promises because my schedule is pretty wack most days. Thank you so much for reading this -- I'll seriously never be able to thank you guys enough. 
> 
> Enjoy <3

It was almost comical at this point. Jisung snuck to Minho’s small apartment in the light of day, having switched out his cap and sweatshirt because he’d been wearing it for too long and couldn’t risk being recognized. Upon opening the door, Minho laughed out loud, insisting that Jisung looked the _exact_ same as before.  
As he removed his layers of clothing one by one, Minho was entranced by the atmosphere the younger radiated today. He immediately stepped forward and enveloped him in a hug.  
Jisung, surprised that Minho had been the one to initiate the contact, yelped and quickly hugged him back, resting his head on the older’s shoulder.  
“Did you have a good day today?” Minho hummed. Jisung nodded.  
“Yeah, hyung. We’re almost done recording the new album, and after that...well, it’s all free time. More time to spend with you.” He stepped back and shyly looked up at Minho through his eyelashes. “I’m very happy, hyung.”  
Minho’s heart was a professional gymnast now. He stared and stared at Jisung’s reddened cheeks, probably from the sweatshirt-hoodie getup. It was still fairly cold outside in March, but the weather was slowly starting to open up. At some point, Jisung would probably melt in his sweatshirt and cap.  
Minho tugged Jisung into his apartment, sitting him down on the living room couch. He’d already prepared some evening snacks for the two of them to enjoy while they chatted about what was going on these days. They tended to get involved in very heated philosophical debates, and Minho honestly couldn’t wait for that to happen again. Physical attraction was one thing, but he was sure he was soulmates with Jisung because of their natural attraction towards each other’s intellect and quirks.  
Today’s topic was if one could exist without a brain. When the topic began to approach the actual _nature_ of existence though, Minho held up his hands in surrender.  
“Alright, alright, you win,” he laughed, reaching down to pet Soonie, who had wrapped herself around Minho’s legs. “This is reminding me too much of the Philosophy class I had to take as part of my course requirements last year. I _really_ don’t want to relive those long nights I spent writing papers about obscure topics.”  
Jisung pumped up his fist in victory. As he leaned forward to grab another cookie, Minho spoke again.  
“Say, how come you have such strong opinions about philosophy, Sung? I mean, you’re 18, so you’ve never even started college, and as far as I know, you’d only completed the bare minimum of requirements for high school when you graduated last May.”  
Jisung raised an eyebrow. “I wonder how much you used to Google me, hyung. Do you perhaps have information about my favorite subject? My fears? My _ideal type_?”  
Minho turned tomato red and swatted him. “FYI, Sung, you’re a celebrity. This stuff is just basic information about you.”  
“It’s weird, isn’t it,” Jisung said wistfully, his voice taking on a less playful tone. “All these people in the world who know me, while I don’t even know that they _exist_. All those people out there who love me, all those people out there who...hate me. But they don’t even know who I am.”  
Minho nodded. “Hey, Sung. I’m not going to lie to you and say that none of that is true. I personally never _loved_ my idols per se, but I always admired them and looked up to them as a sibling. I don’t think I’d have ever thought of you romantically if I’d never gotten to know you.” Minho pressed his lips together and studied Jisung, wondering if he’d said the right thing.  
He apparently had, because Jisung leaned towards Minho to hug him. “Hyung, you’re one of a kind. You’re one of the best kinds of people and K-Pop lovers out there. You won’t believe how many people are possessive over me, how many get angry about scandals, how many just _hate_ me for no reason, I’ve even received...d-d-death threats-”  
Minho’s eyes darkened at those words, but he held it together for Jisung’s sake. “Hey, Sung. He lifted the younger’s chin towards him. “Don’t you ever listen to a word those goddamn spoiled brats are saying. Probably never worked a day in their lives and are getting a kick out of harassing you.”  
Jisung took a deep breath and leaned away from his hyung. He wiped his tears and smiled at him. “Sorry, hyung, that was just a little...phase. I get like that sometimes,” he admitted sheepishly.  
Minho frowned. He already knew that Jisung was an extremely emotional person, but he was disheartened to know that Jisung still didn’t trust him enough to fully tell him everything. He wanted to tell Jisung that he could literally tell Minho anything he wanted. He wanted Jisung to have the confidence to do so.  
What was he hiding from Minho?

Maybe Jisung should’ve thought this one through.  
Minho was still a really big fan of Han’s. Sure, Jisung had given Minho perks like live stream viewer preference and free merch, but there would always be a difference between the persona he showed to the public and the persona that was for his close friends and...boyfriend. It would always be a dilemma -- an idol dating a fan.  
Jisung didn’t have much time to think because in the next ten seconds, Lia walked up and sat in the chair opposite of Jisung’s. She put her phone and wallet down on the table, alerting Jisung to her presence if he hadn’t already noticed. He had, but only because he’d been staring off into space anyway.  
“Hey!”  
“Hi. Glad you could make it!”  
Lia nodded and smiled. “The same to you.”  
An awkward silence descended between the two before Jisung opened his mouth to speak again. “So...do you know when the tabloids are supposed to release this information?” Jisung already knew. He just needed a way to make small talk.  
Lia nodded. “In another two weeks, I believe. Plenty of time for us to give them things to...talk about. She ducked her head in shyness, and Jisung had to admit that even though she wasn’t his type, she was cute. Whoever ended up with her in the future would really be lucky.  
Jisung leaned forward, lowering his voice just a little. “I think we may already have company,” he said, eyes flicking once toward the bushes on their left side. Past them, there were a couple of people already glancing at Jisung and Lia curiously. Jisung could already imagine their whispers: _Omo, they’re so cute? Are they idols? I swear I’ve seen the girl before...Hmm, if they are idols, this is quite scandalous!_  
He tore his thoughts away from the people because they would only make him feel worse. Thankfully, right at that moment, the waiter arrived to take their orders.  
He got a basic iced coffee and a small slice of cheesecake (he had to suppress himself -- he would’ve _really_ liked to order the entire cake) while Lia got some bubble tea and french toast. They ate without speaking a word.  
Just as Lia was about to comment on the food, however, Jisung’s phone started buzzing in his pocket. Figuring it would be rude to pull it out in front of Lia, he tactfully slid it out of his pocket and into his lap while she said “The food is awesome! I would love to come here more often.”  
Jisung nodded to show that he acknowledged her comment, but his attention was on his phone screen. The caller ID said “my favorite hyungie <3”. Minho never called.  
Jisung weighed his options. Surely Lia wouldn’t mind if he took this call right now, right? It would only be for a few minutes.  
He got up from his chair and pointed to his phone. “I’m so sorry Lia-ssi, but I need to take this call.  
She looked up at Jisung and smirked. “You’re still busy even when you’re off? Damn, Jisung-ssi, how hard do you work?”  
Jisung smiled tightly and stepped to a corner where he wouldn’t be able to be heard.  
“Yah, hyung, I was in the middle of something!”  
“Yeah, sure. If you really were, you wouldn’t have picked up this call,” Minho answered cheekily. Jisung wanted to reach through the screen and punch him. On the lips. With his lips.  
He was getting off topic.  
“But Jisung-ah, it sounds like you’re outside somewhere.” Jisung tensed, guessing that Minho must’ve heard the sounds of nature through his phone speakers. “Where might you be right now?”  
“I-I’m just out. Shopping and walking a little,” Jisung said with a small laugh.  
On the other side of the line, Minho pursed his lips. He didn’t want to make Jisung uncomfortable, but he knew the tone Jisung’s voice took when he said something doubtful. No matter.  
“Alright, then, Jisungie,” Minho said with affection. “I’ll let you get back to maxxing out your credit card. Bye!”  
“Yah, hyung...YAH!” Jisung screamed into his phone, but Minho had already hung up.  
Jisung walked back to his and Lia’s table in annoyance, plopping down in his seat. He didn’t have the energy to deal with the curious and suspicious look Lia was giving him, so he just went back to downing his coffee.  
He’d dug himself into a hole, and it was getting deeper by the second. If he didn’t climb out soon, things wouldn’t look too good.  
-  
Jisung really did try to tell Minho. He really, really did. But between the older man’s soft glances his way to his busy schedule, he just never had the time nor the heart to do so.  
And then there was his reluctance with the relationship. He knew Minho was satisfied with the relationship, but Jisung would catch a look of pain in his eyes whenever he tried to hold his hand in public and Jisung jerked away, eyes scanning the area to check if anyone had been looking.  
Jisung knew he was being paranoid for no reason -- he had his hoodie, cap, and mask on at all times in public anyway. It looked a bit awkward at times because Minho was completely bare, but they worked around it.  
Jisung had begun to appreciate Minho’s qualities even more at this point. The man was so patient, and he held no grudges, instead giving his full attention to Jisung even if Jisung barely returned it. He didn’t deserve him, he really didn’t.  
As he started to realize this, his traitorous heart couldn’t do anything but fall for the chestnut-haired male even more.  
And so Jisung tried, he really did try to get rid of his paranoia. But ignoring the time being, Jisung wondered if he was truly having second thoughts about this relationship. Not on the feelings side -- he knew it was very strong and very mutual there. It was...the other side. The side where people would make nasty remarks about _those_ people. Where society just didn’t understand that anyone could be in love with and be happy with anyone. Jisung knew, deep down, that it was this archaic belief that held him back. And the fact that he was an idol only added more fuel to the burning mess. How could he ever bring Minho out to the public without jeopardizing his entire career?  
Chan’s words came back to him. _Don’t expect it to work. I’m sorry, but I sure don’t._.  
Jisung thought he could feel the world slowly closing up around him. It hadn’t completely squeezed the life out of him yet, but it was getting pretty close to doing so.  
Jisung hated to admit it, but he was a coward.  
-  
“ALRIGHT! Jisung and Lia, please take your positions at the table we set up over there.” The manager pointed towards a table set up with a fake green screen depicting city traffic. Jisung had no doubt that the visual effects department of the company would make this look super legit -- it was their specialty, anyway.  
They both sat at the table, right across from each other, but the manager brusquely shook his head. “No, that won’t do. I need some tension in the atmosphere! Some romance! Those netizens are clever; they won’t buy anything less than love. So show some of it!”  
The manager hustled over and moved Jisung to Lia’s side of the table so they were effectively squeezed against each other. Jisung shifted from discomfort, but Lia seemed perfectly normal. That, or she was just _really_ good at masking her emotions.  
Jisung had to give it to her. The girl was truly an idol, always putting others before herself. The thought made him bitter.  
“Alright! Jisung, I need you to drape your coat around Lia’s shoulders -- it is pretty chilly at night, right? Right.” The manager smiled at himself, amused that he could make such a good comment. Jisung silently gagged and snickered.  
Apparently, this caused some of the tension to leave his body because the manager practically screamed. “THERE! You two, stay right there. Yunwoo, take the click in three, two, one…” Jisung heard the opening and closing of a camera shutter as the pair’s picture was taken.  
They went through a variety of scenes after that, Jisung and Lia even “changing” their clothes to make it look like the pictures were from different days. The entire thing seemed like an MV shooting, but it was purely being done for gossip and rumors.  
Jisung was thoroughly tired after all this, but Lia kept up the image of a perfect girl even after the shooting ended. Jisung scoffed to himself, unable to hide his envy at this point. Sure, Lia was a sweet girl, but it was infuriating to see herself have so much control over her emotions. Jisung shouldn’t have been angry at her, but he was. He had nowhere else to channel it.  
So when Lia waved goodbye to him, he turned and walked in the other direction. When Lia called out his name, he ignored her and kept walking. When Lia texted him later on, asking if something was wrong, Jisung replied with a short “I’m fine” before leaving her next message on 'read'.  
He could be petty if he wanted to. Right now, it was the only thing keeping him from having a mental breakdown.  
He desperately wanted to go back to the days where it was just about music. Before all the rumors, gossip, paparazzi, and attention. When it was just him and his music.


End file.
